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Category: Articles Written for Kids

Online Safety: Posting Pictures Online

Talking to teens about internet safety can often be frustrating, especially if they pretends to listen, giving one word responses at the right times. For that reason, the first tip for talking to a teenager (about anything) is to make it a routine.

If you truly want to have meaningful two-way conversations on a variety of topics, including the short term and long term concerns of posting pictures online, laying the proper ground work is essential.

Making Time for Open Conversation

It can be weekly, or monthly, or as often as every day after dinner. Families that “enforce” open conversations are more aware of what’s really going on with every family member, and that’s important. Discussions about internet safety for kids doesn’t have to (always) center around extremely sensitive, awkward, uncomfortable, or otherwise personal topics. In fact it will feel easier to talk about anything when your family has a routine of open conversation.

Some general guidelines to follow include:

  • The dinner table is a good place for casual family conversation about almost anything, but avoid topics that are too personal or uncomfortable while eating. Use these times as a good starting point to learn what your kids think and feel about various topics.
  • Open conversation should take place in a relaxed and comfortable environment. However, nobody should be distracted… and that means you should not have open conversations while driving or with the TV on.
  • During open conversations, everybody should have their cell phone off or in another room. This includes you!
  • Give your teenager your undivided attention. Ask open ended questions that can’t be given a short answer. Wait for an answer, and listen.

Above all else, having an open mind as a parent is crucial. Your teenager must feel comfortable talking to you, without fear of repercussion, or she will only give you the parts that she feels are safe to tell you.

Be Easy to Talk To

It’s frustrating when you try to talk to a teenager who won’t say much to you, but is always texting on their phone. Surely she has something to say… why are they so aloof with you?

Before you go blaming the phone, ask how difficult it might be for your teenage daughter or son to get your undivided attention. Remember that you have a lot on your mind too, so sometimes you might be too distracted and equally difficult to talk to.

Then there is the parenting style you follow. Parents who say “No, because I said so” are less easy to talk to then parents who say “No, because {explanation}.” Although your teenager is still a child in your heart, you are still raising a person who has reached a point of independence that you aren’t happy about. It shows, but there is nothing you can do to keep her a baby forever.

Make Them Laugh

The tough conversations are even tougher with a teenager. Teens know that babies aren’t brought by a stork, and at least one of their peers probably already has one on the way. When having a tough conversation with a teenager, you want to contribute information from a different perspective while also gaining an understanding of where they are coming from.

While being a good listener, you must also understand that this conversation is a million times tougher for your son or daughter to be having with you. Consider how awkward you feel bringing it up, and multiply it by infinity.

The most helpful thing you can do is set the tone to ease their discomfort. Use humor to make them laugh (but not humor that will only make her more uncomfortable!) and your child will be more likely to relax and open up to you.

Talking About Posting Pictures Online

This might come as a shock to you, but many teenagers can be reckless with the photos they post online. This is particularly true of girls. They want so badly to be seen as mature adults—and as attractive females—that they will share pictures of themselves that are various levels of inappropriate.

(You can start with that, if you want.)

Did you know that pictures you share online can be traced to your location, even if you don’t tag it on Facebook? (You can start with that too, maybe even share an article that talks about how location services in smart phone cameras place a stamp that can be used by computer-savvy web users to find out where a person is located.)

The important thing is not to go through your teenagers’ social media page without her permission and comment on pictures belonging to her or her friends. (A teens privacy on Facebook is up to each parent’s discretion and it may be as easy as ‘being friends’ with your kids on Facebook so they know you expect a certain standard of conduct). Raise awareness about various issues regarding social media and plant the seed of a new perspective.

Note- It is perfectly okay to inform your daughter that “duck lips” are terribly ridiculous looking, but a genuine smile is much more beautiful and attractive to boys!

The point is that you aren’t entirely in charge of the conversation and shouldn’t try to stick to one point. Encourage your daughter to participate by asking her opinion on inappropriate pictures (where does see the line drawn?) or finding out what she knows about geotagging.

Rather than taking the cliché paranoid parent approach, talk about posting pictures online as a casual conversation. You’ll get the answers you want, and it will give you both a chance to learn from each other.

Talking to teens about internet safety can often be frustrating, especially if they pretends to listen, giving one word responses at the right times. For that reason, the first tip for talking to a teenager (about anything) is to make it a routine.

If you truly want to have meaningful two-way conversations on a variety of topics, including the short term and long term concerns of posting pictures online, laying the proper ground work is essential.

Making Time for Open Conversation

It can be weekly, or monthly, or as often as every day after dinner. Families that “enforce” open conversations are more aware of what’s really going on with every family member, and that’s important. Discussions about internet safety for kids doesn’t have to (always) center around extremely sensitive, awkward, uncomfortable, or otherwise personal topics. In fact it will feel easier to talk about anything when your family has a routine of open conversation.

Some general guidelines to follow include:

  • The dinner table is a good place for casual family conversation about almost anything, but avoid topics that are too personal or uncomfortable while eating. Use these times as a good starting point to learn what your kids think and feel about various topics.
  • Open conversation should take place in a relaxed and comfortable environment. However, nobody should be distracted… and that means you should not have open conversations while driving or with the TV on.
  • During open conversations, everybody should have their cell phone off or in another room. This includes you!
  • Give your teenager your undivided attention. Ask open ended questions that can’t be given a short answer. Wait for an answer, and listen.

Above all else, having an open mind as a parent is crucial. Your teenager must feel comfortable talking to you, without fear of repercussion, or she will only give you the parts that she feels are safe to tell you.

Be Easy to Talk To

It’s frustrating when you try to talk to a teenager who won’t say much to you, but is always texting on their phone. Surely she has something to say… why are they so aloof with you?

Before you go blaming the phone, ask how difficult it might be for your teenage daughter or son to get your undivided attention. Remember that you have a lot on your mind too, so sometimes you might be too distracted and equally difficult to talk to.

Then there is the parenting style you follow. Parents who say “No, because I said so” are less easy to talk to then parents who say “No, because {explanation}.” Although your teenager is still a child in your heart, you are still raising a person who has reached a point of independence that you aren’t happy about. It shows, but there is nothing you can do to keep her a baby forever.

Make Them Laugh

The tough conversations are even tougher with a teenager. Teens know that babies aren’t brought by a stork, and at least one of their peers probably already has one on the way. When having a tough conversation with a teenager, you want to contribute information from a different perspective while also gaining an understanding of where they are coming from.

While being a good listener, you must also understand that this conversation is a million times tougher for your son or daughter to be having with you. Consider how awkward you feel bringing it up, and multiply it by infinity.

The most helpful thing you can do is set the tone to ease their discomfort. Use humor to make them laugh (but not humor that will only make her more uncomfortable!) and your child will be more likely to relax and open up to you.

Talking About Posting Pictures Online

This might come as a shock to you, but many teenagers can be reckless with the photos they post online. This is particularly true of girls. They want so badly to be seen as mature adults—and as attractive females—that they will share pictures of themselves that are various levels of inappropriate.

(You can start with that, if you want.)

Did you know that pictures you share online can be traced to your location, even if you don’t tag it on Facebook? (You can start with that too, maybe even share an article that talks about how location services in smart phone cameras place a stamp that can be used by computer-savvy web users to find out where a person is located.)

The important thing is not to go through your teenagers’ social media page without her permission and comment on pictures belonging to her or her friends. (A teens privacy on Facebook is up to each parent’s discretion and it may be as easy as ‘being friends’ with your kids on Facebook so they know you expect a certain standard of conduct). Raise awareness about various issues regarding social media and plant the seed of a new perspective.

Note- It is perfectly okay to inform your daughter that “duck lips” are terribly ridiculous looking, but a genuine smile is much more beautiful and attractive to boys!

The point is that you aren’t entirely in charge of the conversation and shouldn’t try to stick to one point. Encourage your daughter to participate by asking her opinion on inappropriate pictures (where does see the line drawn?) or finding out what she knows about geotagging.

Rather than taking the cliché paranoid parent approach, talk about posting pictures online as a casual conversation. You’ll get the answers you want, and it will give you both a chance to learn from each other.

CyberBullying: A Word for Kids and Teens

Cyberbullying is a phrase you may hear all the time, but it takes many different forms and meanings. Bullying is something that many children and teens go through in school, on the bus, and within groups of friends. However, cyberbullying is even more common because most kids don’t even realize they are doing it!

It’s never fun to be bullied, in the real world or on the web through social media. It’s even worse to be the bully, yet it’s easy to be do it online… even by accident. The internet can bring out passive aggressive behavior, even in the most outspoken person.

When you have a problem with somebody, do you face them with it… or do you Facebook it?

Taking drama to the web creates a whole new set of problems. Remember that you can work out a problem with a friend, but you can never erase something that was said or done online. So before you post that rant, stop and think if it can hurt somebody else.

Even if you feel like somebody has been mean or unfair to you, you won’t want to stoop to their level.

You won’t be able to take it back, and you will have more good friends when you show that you can take the high road and treat others with respect.

Are You Being CyberBullied?

Think before you tweet, update your status, post a picture, or put anything on the net. Remember that anybody can save and share your updates, so it’s a good idea to avoid posting anything impulsively. It might come back to haunt you. That general rule of thumb is especially important to follow when somebody is attacking or bullying you online.

Sometimes you have to start by asking why somebody is trying to hurt you.

  • If it is a friend who is upset with you, perhaps you did something to hurt them? The best response would be to take your drama offline and try to talk it out—in the real world or on the phone. Eliminate the audience and it will be just the two of you, looking for a resolution to end the drama.
  • If there is a group of people you don’t know that well who are “ganging up on you”, they may be the friends of somebody who is upset with you. There could be rumors or numerous direct attacks. Do not respond to any kind of attack coming from somebody you do not know. If you know who the original source is, deal with them directly.

Knowing why does not always put an end to cyberbullying, but neither does “feeding the trolls”. You don’t want to just ignore cyberbullying and wait for it to go away either. So if the harassment is taking on a level that is really troubling you, please tell your parents or somebody in your school.

A Few Steps to Protect Yourself From CyberBullying

  1. Face your problems. Never “Facebook” your problems.
  2. Think before you post.
  3. Always be kind and respectful, and surround yourself with friends who are also kind and respectful.
  4. Be careful around people your age who are always ‘surrounded by drama’. You never know when you’ll get sucked into it!
  5. Never, ever let anybody know your password. Protect your social media accounts from being “hacked” by changing your password every so often. If you use a smart phone never leave it unattended.

What Can You Do if You are Being Cyber Bullied

  1. Don’t respond to messages and never retaliate. It will only ad fuel to the fire and escalate the cyberbullying.
  2. Tell an adult you trust, such as a parent, teacher or coach. If they don’t offer you any real solutions, then search for a trusted adult who is better equipped to offer advice, such as a school councilor.
  3. Save all evidence. Do not delete any communications. Be sure to keep electronic copies and print-outs in case things escalate. This will empower you to allow justice to be served against the cyberbully.
  4. Keep records of ISP and law enforcement contacts. If the cyberbully continues to harass you, contact their Internet Service Provider (ISP).
  5. Save all information that contains even a hint of a threat and contact law enforcement.
  6. Block the harasser after you have made copies of all communication.

Read how you can stand up against a verbally abusive bully.

Here is an article about cyberBullying written for Parents.

Cyberbullying is a phrase you may hear all the time, but it takes many different forms and meanings. Bullying is something that many children and teens go through in school, on the bus, and within groups of friends. However, cyberbullying is even more common because most kids don’t even realize they are doing it!

It’s never fun to be bullied, in the real world or on the web through social media. It’s even worse to be the bully, yet it’s easy to be do it online… even by accident. The internet can bring out passive aggressive behavior, even in the most outspoken person.

When you have a problem with somebody, do you face them with it… or do you Facebook it?

Taking drama to the web creates a whole new set of problems. Remember that you can work out a problem with a friend, but you can never erase something that was said or done online. So before you post that rant, stop and think if it can hurt somebody else.

Even if you feel like somebody has been mean or unfair to you, you won’t want to stoop to their level.

You won’t be able to take it back, and you will have more good friends when you show that you can take the high road and treat others with respect.

Are You Being CyberBullied?

Think before you tweet, update your status, post a picture, or put anything on the net. Remember that anybody can save and share your updates, so it’s a good idea to avoid posting anything impulsively. It might come back to haunt you. That general rule of thumb is especially important to follow when somebody is attacking or bullying you online.

Sometimes you have to start by asking why somebody is trying to hurt you.

  • If it is a friend who is upset with you, perhaps you did something to hurt them? The best response would be to take your drama offline and try to talk it out—in the real world or on the phone. Eliminate the audience and it will be just the two of you, looking for a resolution to end the drama.
  • If there is a group of people you don’t know that well who are “ganging up on you”, they may be the friends of somebody who is upset with you. There could be rumors or numerous direct attacks. Do not respond to any kind of attack coming from somebody you do not know. If you know who the original source is, deal with them directly.

Knowing why does not always put an end to cyberbullying, but neither does “feeding the trolls”. You don’t want to just ignore cyberbullying and wait for it to go away either. So if the harassment is taking on a level that is really troubling you, please tell your parents or somebody in your school.

A Few Steps to Protect Yourself From CyberBullying

  1. Face your problems. Never “Facebook” your problems.
  2. Think before you post.
  3. Always be kind and respectful, and surround yourself with friends who are also kind and respectful.
  4. Be careful around people your age who are always ‘surrounded by drama’. You never know when you’ll get sucked into it!
  5. Never, ever let anybody know your password. Protect your social media accounts from being “hacked” by changing your password every so often. If you use a smart phone never leave it unattended.

What Can You Do if You are Being Cyber Bullied

  1. Don’t respond to messages and never retaliate. It will only ad fuel to the fire and escalate the cyberbullying.
  2. Tell an adult you trust, such as a parent, teacher or coach. If they don’t offer you any real solutions, then search for a trusted adult who is better equipped to offer advice, such as a school councilor.
  3. Save all evidence. Do not delete any communications. Be sure to keep electronic copies and print-outs in case things escalate. This will empower you to allow justice to be served against the cyberbully.
  4. Keep records of ISP and law enforcement contacts. If the cyberbully continues to harass you, contact their Internet Service Provider (ISP).
  5. Save all information that contains even a hint of a threat and contact law enforcement.
  6. Block the harasser after you have made copies of all communication.

Read how you can stand up against a verbally abusive bully.

Here is an article about cyberBullying written for Parents.

How Will You Spend Your Summer Vacation?

Wow! This is going to be an exciting summer. You’ve got so much fun waiting for you and the best part is that you get to make the fun happen. Here are five ideas you can read and think about. Pick out a couple and ask your parents to help get the fun rolling.

This list may help you think about ideas of your own.

1. Treasure Hunt! You can go online and read about the different ways that you can arrange the hunt. The best way to get all your friends together and ask a parent to hide the treasure. It could be a batch of cookies or a gift certificate for a pizza or each child could bring one small toy to make up the treasure. Or you could be the treasure master, stashing the prize and making up clues that you hide in advance.

Clues could be something like “Look for the tree with the home-made swing,” or “Find the big grey rock and take three steps south.” Each clue leads to another clue and at the very end, the treasure. Maybe each of your friends could pick a day and hold their own treasure hunt. The hunts can be as long or as short as you want.

2. Have a Box Sculpture Contest! This is easy. Just ask your parents to get empty boxes from a grocery or chain store. Make sure you have a lot of them in a lot of different sizes. Then you need strong tape, glue and markers to decorate what you make. You could even decide on a theme, like box spaceships, box forts or box cars.

3. Learn How to Fly a Kite! Kites are relatively cheap to buy, but many kids prefer to learn about kites online and make their own. This activity requires you to follow the weather and look for good places to catch the wind, usually a park or a hill. This takes those reflexes that help you play video games and uses them in the real world. And it’s fun.

4. Put on a Kids Clothing Swap! Ask your parents what they think about this. It would be a good way to clean out closets as well as encourage everyone to recycle. Just make sure that all clothes are clean and mended when they are brought to the swap.

5. Explore Your Local World! Get a guide book or go online to find out what you can do in your home town! What is the oldest building in your city? Where was the first school built? Was anyone famous born in your town? Is there a museum you can tour? What about a pond where you can sail a boat?

No matter where you live, you can enjoy a whole world of adventure. All you need to do is use your imagination.

Can you think of more ideas?  Join our Facebook page and post your ideas.

Wow! This is going to be an exciting summer. You’ve got so much fun waiting for you and the best part is that you get to make the fun happen. Here are five ideas you can read and think about. Pick out a couple and ask your parents to help get the fun rolling.

This list may help you think about ideas of your own.

1. Treasure Hunt! You can go online and read about the different ways that you can arrange the hunt. The best way to get all your friends together and ask a parent to hide the treasure. It could be a batch of cookies or a gift certificate for a pizza or each child could bring one small toy to make up the treasure. Or you could be the treasure master, stashing the prize and making up clues that you hide in advance.

Clues could be something like “Look for the tree with the home-made swing,” or “Find the big grey rock and take three steps south.” Each clue leads to another clue and at the very end, the treasure. Maybe each of your friends could pick a day and hold their own treasure hunt. The hunts can be as long or as short as you want.

2. Have a Box Sculpture Contest! This is easy. Just ask your parents to get empty boxes from a grocery or chain store. Make sure you have a lot of them in a lot of different sizes. Then you need strong tape, glue and markers to decorate what you make. You could even decide on a theme, like box spaceships, box forts or box cars.

3. Learn How to Fly a Kite! Kites are relatively cheap to buy, but many kids prefer to learn about kites online and make their own. This activity requires you to follow the weather and look for good places to catch the wind, usually a park or a hill. This takes those reflexes that help you play video games and uses them in the real world. And it’s fun.

4. Put on a Kids Clothing Swap! Ask your parents what they think about this. It would be a good way to clean out closets as well as encourage everyone to recycle. Just make sure that all clothes are clean and mended when they are brought to the swap.

5. Explore Your Local World! Get a guide book or go online to find out what you can do in your home town! What is the oldest building in your city? Where was the first school built? Was anyone famous born in your town? Is there a museum you can tour? What about a pond where you can sail a boat?

No matter where you live, you can enjoy a whole world of adventure. All you need to do is use your imagination.

Can you think of more ideas?  Join our Facebook page and post your ideas.

Funny Jokes For Kids, written by Kids

funny jokes for kids

Here are a few jokes for kids that were written by kids. All of these jokes are two liner jokes in question and answer format. Some of them also contains a puns (a pun on words). A pun is the use of different possible meanings for a word or using words that sound alike but don’t mean the same thing.

For example, if someone tells you a pun you could respond by saying “You’re not very punny”.

Q: What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
A: He reads a bite-time story.

Q: What do dogs do when watching a DVD?
A: They press paws.

Q: Why can’t dogs drive?
A: They can’t find a barking space.

Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: It was not peeling very well.

Q: Why did the burglar rob a bakery?
A: He needed the dough.

Q: What vitamin helps you to see?
A: Vitamin C.

Q: Why did the ice cream cone take karate lessons?
A: It was tired of getting licked.

Q: How do you make fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match.

Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: He held up a pair of pants.

Q: How to hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts.

Q: Why can’t you tell a joke while you’re standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up.

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth.
A: A gummy bear.

Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.

Q: Why didn’t Cinderella make the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with.

Q: Who can shave six times a day and still have a beard.
A: A Barber.

Q: What stays in the corner but goes around the world?
A: A stamp.

Q: Where do burgers like to dance.
A: A meatball.

Q: What day to chickens hate most.
A: Fry-days

Q: What kind of shoes to frogs wear?
A: Open Toad.

Q: What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age.

Q: Why don’t ducks ever have spare change?
A: They only carry bills.

Q: Why was the math book sad.
A: It had too many problems.

Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q: Where do mummies go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea.

Q: What do rabbits do when they get married?
A: They go on a bunnymoon.

Q: What do you get when an bad rabbit sits on your hair?
A: A dad dare Day.

Q: What kind of table can you eat?
A: A vege-table,

Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.

Q: Why did the girl nibble on her calender?
A: She wanted a sundae.

Q: What do you call two banana peels?
A: A pair of slippers.

Q: What happens when you tell an egg a kids joke like this one?
A: It cracks up.

Q: What do you take before a meal?
A: A seat.

Q: What looks like half a donkey.
A: The other half of a donkey.

Q: How does a lion greet other animals in wild?
A: Please to eat you.

Q: What do you call a woman who crawls up walls?
A: Ivy.

Q: What did the tree wear to the beach party?
A: Swimming trunks.

Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling a bit green.

Q: What kind of tree can you put in your hand?
A: A palm tree.

Q: How to trees connect with the internet?
A: They log in.

Q: What kind of fruit to trees like the most?
A: Pineapples.

Q: What to elephants and trees have in common.
A: They both have trunks.

Q: What did the chef name is son?
A: Stew.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick.

Q: Where do horses live?
A: In neigh-borhoods.

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.

Q: Why did the melon jump in the lake.
A: He wanted to be a watermelon.

Q: Why did the opera singer go sailing.
A: Because she wanted to hit the high C’s.

Q: Why was the basketball game so hot?
A: Because all the fans left.

Q: What do you call a story about a broken pencil.
A: Pointless.

Q: Why was the girl sitting on her watch.
A: Because she wanted to be on time.

Q: What animal can jump higher than a house?
A: Any animal. A house can’t jump.

Q: How do you spot a modern spider?
A: He doesn’t have a web, he has a website.

Q: What are the strongest creatures in the ocean?
A: Mussels.

Q: Why are pianos hard to open?
A: The keys are inside.

Q: When do astronauts eat?
A: At launch time.

Q: Why do cowboys ride horses?
A: Because they are too heavy to carry.

Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
A: To see how long he slept.

Q: Why did the girl give her pony cough syrup?
A: It was a little horse.

Q: What did the lawyer name is daughter?
A: Sue.

Q: What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
A: CASHEW!

Q: How do you mend a broken pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What’s the only school where you have to drop out to graduate?
A: Skydiving school.

Q: In what school do you learn how to greet people?
A: Hi school.

©These jokes may be passed on to friends or to a class at school but may not be re-published online.

Here are a few jokes for kids that were written by kids. All of these jokes are two liner jokes in question and answer format. Some of them also contains a puns (a pun on words). A pun is the use of different possible meanings for a word or using words that sound alike but don’t mean the same thing.

For example, if someone tells you a pun you could respond by saying “You’re not very punny”.

Q: What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
A: He reads a bite-time story.

Q: What do dogs do when watching a DVD?
A: They press paws.

Q: Why can’t dogs drive?
A: They can’t find a barking space.

Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: It was not peeling very well.

Q: Why did the burglar rob a bakery?
A: He needed the dough.

Q: What vitamin helps you to see?
A: Vitamin C.

Q: Why did the ice cream cone take karate lessons?
A: It was tired of getting licked.

Q: How do you make fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match.

Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: He held up a pair of pants.

Q: How to hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts.

Q: Why can’t you tell a joke while you’re standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up.

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth.
A: A gummy bear.

Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.

Q: Why didn’t Cinderella make the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with.

Q: Who can shave six times a day and still have a beard.
A: A Barber.

Q: What stays in the corner but goes around the world?
A: A stamp.

Q: Where do burgers like to dance.
A: A meatball.

Q: What day to chickens hate most.
A: Fry-days

Q: What kind of shoes to frogs wear?
A: Open Toad.

Q: What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age.

Q: Why don’t ducks ever have spare change?
A: They only carry bills.

Q: Why was the math book sad.
A: It had too many problems.

Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q: Where do mummies go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea.

Q: What do rabbits do when they get married?
A: They go on a bunnymoon.

Q: What do you get when an bad rabbit sits on your hair?
A: A dad dare Day.

Q: What kind of table can you eat?
A: A vege-table,

Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.

Q: Why did the girl nibble on her calender?
A: She wanted a sundae.

Q: What do you call two banana peels?
A: A pair of slippers.

Q: What happens when you tell an egg a kids joke like this one?
A: It cracks up.

Q: What do you take before a meal?
A: A seat.

Q: What looks like half a donkey.
A: The other half of a donkey.

Q: How does a lion greet other animals in wild?
A: Please to eat you.

Q: What do you call a woman who crawls up walls?
A: Ivy.

Q: What did the tree wear to the beach party?
A: Swimming trunks.

Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling a bit green.

Q: What kind of tree can you put in your hand?
A: A palm tree.

Q: How to trees connect with the internet?
A: They log in.

Q: What kind of fruit to trees like the most?
A: Pineapples.

Q: What to elephants and trees have in common.
A: They both have trunks.

Q: What did the chef name is son?
A: Stew.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick.

Q: Where do horses live?
A: In neigh-borhoods.

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.

Q: Why did the melon jump in the lake.
A: He wanted to be a watermelon.

Q: Why did the opera singer go sailing.
A: Because she wanted to hit the high C’s.

Q: Why was the basketball game so hot?
A: Because all the fans left.

Q: What do you call a story about a broken pencil.
A: Pointless.

Q: Why was the girl sitting on her watch.
A: Because she wanted to be on time.

Q: What animal can jump higher than a house?
A: Any animal. A house can’t jump.

Q: How do you spot a modern spider?
A: He doesn’t have a web, he has a website.

Q: What are the strongest creatures in the ocean?
A: Mussels.

Q: Why are pianos hard to open?
A: The keys are inside.

Q: When do astronauts eat?
A: At launch time.

Q: Why do cowboys ride horses?
A: Because they are too heavy to carry.

Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
A: To see how long he slept.

Q: Why did the girl give her pony cough syrup?
A: It was a little horse.

Q: What did the lawyer name is daughter?
A: Sue.

Q: What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
A: CASHEW!

Q: How do you mend a broken pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What’s the only school where you have to drop out to graduate?
A: Skydiving school.

Q: In what school do you learn how to greet people?
A: Hi school.

©These jokes may be passed on to friends or to a class at school but may not be re-published online.