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Category: Improve Your World

When You Get Mad! (Anger Management for Kids)

Anger Management for Kids

Whether you are on the school playground or spending time with friends in your neighborhood on the weekend, not everything always goes as planned. You could skin your knees, bump your head going up the monkey bars and get splashed in the pool. Accidents happen. People get mad.

In that finger-snap moment, many say or do things that hurt friendships, feelings and even get them into trouble.  That doesn’t have to happen to you. You just need a few tools.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling mad. Everyone feels mad from time to time. The problem is when the anger makes you do things that hurt you or other people. That’s why the most important thing to think when you get mad is this: TAKE CONTROL.

TAKE CONTROL. You are stronger than you think. You have the power to get control of your anger. Here are some ways:

  • When you open your mouth to yell at someone who hit you or splashed you, take a breath. Hold that breath. Let it out slowly. Take another breath. Those few seconds will save you from saying something mean or making someone else mad.
  • Make fists and throw them away. That is, curl your hands into fists then quickly fling your hands open. Do that over and over until you feel your burning anger fade.
  • Walk away. Walk to the side. Pace back and forth. This is a good way to help when you stub your toe or hurt your arm. It helps ease the pain while you let the anger out.
  • Close your eyes and grit your teeth. Then let yourself relax. This helps you calm down and think.

These actions may seem easy, but they are not. You may need to practice them with friends or your parents. But they are important because they give you control. Once you have control, you can think about what made you mad. When you can think with a calm head, you can take care of what the problem is.

Did you bump your head? Then call an adult to make sure that you are not badly hurt.

Did another kid yell a mean comment to you? When you have control you can walk away or just roll your eyes or go tell your parents. If the comment was truly hurtful, you can talk about it with friends or family or a special adult—yelling back makes you just as hurtful as the person who hurt you.

Many adults go through life struggling with their anger. They get in trouble. This can often be made worse when they express their anger on social media. Some people go to jail. Many never learn to be the boss of their anger. They pay a big price for that. You are better than that—or you can be—when you learn what to do when you get mad.

Whether you are on the school playground or spending time with friends in your neighborhood on the weekend, not everything always goes as planned. You could skin your knees, bump your head going up the monkey bars and get splashed in the pool. Accidents happen. People get mad.

In that finger-snap moment, many say or do things that hurt friendships, feelings and even get them into trouble.  That doesn’t have to happen to you. You just need a few tools.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling mad. Everyone feels mad from time to time. The problem is when the anger makes you do things that hurt you or other people. That’s why the most important thing to think when you get mad is this: TAKE CONTROL.

TAKE CONTROL. You are stronger than you think. You have the power to get control of your anger. Here are some ways:

  • When you open your mouth to yell at someone who hit you or splashed you, take a breath. Hold that breath. Let it out slowly. Take another breath. Those few seconds will save you from saying something mean or making someone else mad.
  • Make fists and throw them away. That is, curl your hands into fists then quickly fling your hands open. Do that over and over until you feel your burning anger fade.
  • Walk away. Walk to the side. Pace back and forth. This is a good way to help when you stub your toe or hurt your arm. It helps ease the pain while you let the anger out.
  • Close your eyes and grit your teeth. Then let yourself relax. This helps you calm down and think.

These actions may seem easy, but they are not. You may need to practice them with friends or your parents. But they are important because they give you control. Once you have control, you can think about what made you mad. When you can think with a calm head, you can take care of what the problem is.

Did you bump your head? Then call an adult to make sure that you are not badly hurt.

Did another kid yell a mean comment to you? When you have control you can walk away or just roll your eyes or go tell your parents. If the comment was truly hurtful, you can talk about it with friends or family or a special adult—yelling back makes you just as hurtful as the person who hurt you.

Many adults go through life struggling with their anger. They get in trouble. This can often be made worse when they express their anger on social media. Some people go to jail. Many never learn to be the boss of their anger. They pay a big price for that. You are better than that—or you can be—when you learn what to do when you get mad.

How to Argue without Being Mean

What is he thinking? What’s wrong with her? How could they say those things? You want to talk back and let those friends know that you are right and they are wrong wrong wrong! How do you do that? You argue back—with Arguing Skill.  But you do it without being mean or spiteful.

  • NEVER ARGUE WHEN YOU ARE MAD OR SAD.

This is a hard one. When you feel like arguing about something, it is because the conflict makes you feel mad or sad.  But when you are mad or sad, you lose control. You just weep or stomp around. You won’t win an argument, and you might make people think you are silly. Also, when you are mad or sad, you are likely to call people names, which is a bad way to argue.

  • REALLY LISTEN AND HAVE RESPECT.

Part of being a ninja arguer is really hearing what the other person is saying. When you really understand what the other person thinks, you will be better at making that person understand you. if you really want someone to listen to you, you must listen to him or her.

  • BE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHY.

“Just ‘cause” is not a reason. You need to be able to say clearly and nicely what your goal is and give reasons why your opinion should win.

  • BE OPEN TO COMPROMISE.

COMPROMISE is when two people each give in a little to make a deal work. By compromising, both of you win.

Now, let’s see how these four points work in real life. Let’s start in the playground.

You’ve been playing basketball with your friends. After about an hour, Sandy grabs the ball and won’t give it back. She wants to go home and play video games. You want to keep playing, as do the other friends. You want to call her mean for taking the ball.

Instead, think. Put your hands on your hips and take a few steps, counting to ten. This gives you time to cool off (point 1).

Now, go back to Sandy and ask her why she wants to play video games rather than basketball (point 2).

Sandy says, “We’ve been playing all afternoon. It’s getting boring.” Being smart, you also listen with your eyes. You see that she’s sweaty and tired. Maybe she doesn’t want to sound weak. As her friend, you respect what she says. But there are still five of you that want to keep playing (point 3).“We’d like to keep playing,” you say. Then you reach point 4.

Compromise. So you say, “How about we use your ball and play a bit longer. I’ll drop it off at your house when it’s done.” Sandy could reply: “Mom told me not to lend the ball out.” What do you do? Here’s an idea: “How about we play for another fifteen minutes then we can all go play video games?”

Each argument is different, because the people arguing are different. The goal is to come to an agreement. The better you can argue, the better you can get along.

What is he thinking? What’s wrong with her? How could they say those things? You want to talk back and let those friends know that you are right and they are wrong wrong wrong! How do you do that? You argue back—with Arguing Skill.  But you do it without being mean or spiteful.

  • NEVER ARGUE WHEN YOU ARE MAD OR SAD.

This is a hard one. When you feel like arguing about something, it is because the conflict makes you feel mad or sad.  But when you are mad or sad, you lose control. You just weep or stomp around. You won’t win an argument, and you might make people think you are silly. Also, when you are mad or sad, you are likely to call people names, which is a bad way to argue.

  • REALLY LISTEN AND HAVE RESPECT.

Part of being a ninja arguer is really hearing what the other person is saying. When you really understand what the other person thinks, you will be better at making that person understand you. if you really want someone to listen to you, you must listen to him or her.

  • BE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHY.

“Just ‘cause” is not a reason. You need to be able to say clearly and nicely what your goal is and give reasons why your opinion should win.

  • BE OPEN TO COMPROMISE.

COMPROMISE is when two people each give in a little to make a deal work. By compromising, both of you win.

Now, let’s see how these four points work in real life. Let’s start in the playground.

You’ve been playing basketball with your friends. After about an hour, Sandy grabs the ball and won’t give it back. She wants to go home and play video games. You want to keep playing, as do the other friends. You want to call her mean for taking the ball.

Instead, think. Put your hands on your hips and take a few steps, counting to ten. This gives you time to cool off (point 1).

Now, go back to Sandy and ask her why she wants to play video games rather than basketball (point 2).

Sandy says, “We’ve been playing all afternoon. It’s getting boring.” Being smart, you also listen with your eyes. You see that she’s sweaty and tired. Maybe she doesn’t want to sound weak. As her friend, you respect what she says. But there are still five of you that want to keep playing (point 3).“We’d like to keep playing,” you say. Then you reach point 4.

Compromise. So you say, “How about we use your ball and play a bit longer. I’ll drop it off at your house when it’s done.” Sandy could reply: “Mom told me not to lend the ball out.” What do you do? Here’s an idea: “How about we play for another fifteen minutes then we can all go play video games?”

Each argument is different, because the people arguing are different. The goal is to come to an agreement. The better you can argue, the better you can get along.

How a Town Made A Monster—True Story

Once upon a time, a mom and dad drove their little girl to school. Mom got out to walk the girl to the school door.  Before they got there, Dad remembered something he had forgotten to ask the little girl. He rushed out and ran to the girl and Mom. Mom was upset. She said that they could talk about the question after school.

Dad disagreed and the two had a small argument on the school steps, which was very bad manners. The little girl started walking away. Her dad grabbed her arm and she quickly answered his question before running off to class.

Meanwhile, a woman in the parking lot saw the argument on the steps. She saw the dad grab his daughter’s arm. She went on social media and made a post: “I saw a man grab a little girl today at school. Watch out for your kids.”

Another parent saw the post and shared the post with his friends. They shared the post with their friends. Soon, everyone in the small town was thinking that a man was trying to kidnap their dear children.

Thinking that some evil man lurked near the school, people started seeing monsters everywhere! If a man stopped to drop off a sandwich for his son at recess, people would go online to post: “I saw a man try to grab a little boy.”

When another man ran up to his girl to give her the sweater she had left at home, people would post: “I saw the bad guy.” And all those posts bounced from cell phone to cell phone.

Before long, people went to the police and reported that a man was trying to steal kids from school. The story reached news reporters. A major television station reported that a man was stalking school kids. The stern announcer warned thousands of people to be on the lookout for this monster.

The police immediately started investigating. They interviewed many of the people who posted sightings of the evil man. The police talked to kids and their parents.

Then they made an official announcement: Nothing had happened. No one was trying to snatch children.

Hundreds of posts and reposts warned of a bad man, but none of the reports were true. No evil monster was trying to grab children from school. The monster was made up by too many people posting false details on social media.

Soon, the panic faded. People forgot about the evil man—and they did not seem to understand that they were the ones who made the monster.

This event really happened in Alberta, Canada, June, 2011.

Once upon a time, a mom and dad drove their little girl to school. Mom got out to walk the girl to the school door.  Before they got there, Dad remembered something he had forgotten to ask the little girl. He rushed out and ran to the girl and Mom. Mom was upset. She said that they could talk about the question after school.

Dad disagreed and the two had a small argument on the school steps, which was very bad manners. The little girl started walking away. Her dad grabbed her arm and she quickly answered his question before running off to class.

Meanwhile, a woman in the parking lot saw the argument on the steps. She saw the dad grab his daughter’s arm. She went on social media and made a post: “I saw a man grab a little girl today at school. Watch out for your kids.”

Another parent saw the post and shared the post with his friends. They shared the post with their friends. Soon, everyone in the small town was thinking that a man was trying to kidnap their dear children.

Thinking that some evil man lurked near the school, people started seeing monsters everywhere! If a man stopped to drop off a sandwich for his son at recess, people would go online to post: “I saw a man try to grab a little boy.”

When another man ran up to his girl to give her the sweater she had left at home, people would post: “I saw the bad guy.” And all those posts bounced from cell phone to cell phone.

Before long, people went to the police and reported that a man was trying to steal kids from school. The story reached news reporters. A major television station reported that a man was stalking school kids. The stern announcer warned thousands of people to be on the lookout for this monster.

The police immediately started investigating. They interviewed many of the people who posted sightings of the evil man. The police talked to kids and their parents.

Then they made an official announcement: Nothing had happened. No one was trying to snatch children.

Hundreds of posts and reposts warned of a bad man, but none of the reports were true. No evil monster was trying to grab children from school. The monster was made up by too many people posting false details on social media.

Soon, the panic faded. People forgot about the evil man—and they did not seem to understand that they were the ones who made the monster.

This event really happened in Alberta, Canada, June, 2011.

An Incredible Holiday Gift – And it’s Absolutely Free!

the free holiday gift

This holiday season, there is one gift you can give the world that doesn’t cost one cent. Be nice. Being nice is easy. It can take many forms. You could use your graphics program to create a thoughtful message and stick it in the lockers at school. You can shovel the walks of elderly people you know.

You can even use social media. Consider posting messages of goodwill to as many people as you can. The trick is to post positive messages to people you may not like or even get along with.

“Be nice? No way. I hate him.” That might be true, but think about this: There are people who like and even love that person that you hate. No matter how you feel about a person, someone else sees good and worthwhile qualities in him or her.

Remember, that guy or girl you dislike has friends, family, neighbors and co-workers who like them. And people you dislike probably dislike you! And you know in your heart that you are a good person, just like people you don’t like think that they are a good person.

Still think it is impossible to be nice to someone you hate? Then you need to hear an amazing story about soldiers being nice to people they were trying to shoot.

Go back in your mind to World War 1, December, 1914. On one side of the battlefield: The Germans. On the other side: British, French and Belgian troops.

Soldiers were huddled in the cold dirt, in trenches on both sides. Late on Christmas eve night, the moon was bright and magical. Someone on the German side rose from his hole in the ground to start singing Christmas carols.

Other German soldiers soon joined in. When they were done, the other side—the Allies—sang a Christmas carol in return. Soon, the men were out of their trenches, singing carols and exchanging their meager supplies as goodwill gestures and shows of holiday spirit.

Of course, the commanders far away from the fighting did not approve of such behavior, but the soldiers there face to face with the enemy set aside their hostilities to be kind and thoughtful human beings, even in the face of war and death.

Reports on what happened the following days vary, but all agree that the front-line soldiers on both sides declared an unofficial truce. In some reports, the soldiers even played soccer on the battlefield.

Of course, sadly, the war resumed. For years to follow, soldiers fought for freedom in Europe. But in 1914 for the Christmas holidays, the soldiers set down their rifles and sang to the enemy.

Google the Christmas miracle of 1914. Then ask yourself if it truly is impossible to spread peace and goodwill for the holidays, even to people you hate.

This holiday season, there is one gift you can give the world that doesn’t cost one cent. Be nice. Being nice is easy. It can take many forms. You could use your graphics program to create a thoughtful message and stick it in the lockers at school. You can shovel the walks of elderly people you know.

You can even use social media. Consider posting messages of goodwill to as many people as you can. The trick is to post positive messages to people you may not like or even get along with.

“Be nice? No way. I hate him.” That might be true, but think about this: There are people who like and even love that person that you hate. No matter how you feel about a person, someone else sees good and worthwhile qualities in him or her.

Remember, that guy or girl you dislike has friends, family, neighbors and co-workers who like them. And people you dislike probably dislike you! And you know in your heart that you are a good person, just like people you don’t like think that they are a good person.

Still think it is impossible to be nice to someone you hate? Then you need to hear an amazing story about soldiers being nice to people they were trying to shoot.

Go back in your mind to World War 1, December, 1914. On one side of the battlefield: The Germans. On the other side: British, French and Belgian troops.

Soldiers were huddled in the cold dirt, in trenches on both sides. Late on Christmas eve night, the moon was bright and magical. Someone on the German side rose from his hole in the ground to start singing Christmas carols.

Other German soldiers soon joined in. When they were done, the other side—the Allies—sang a Christmas carol in return. Soon, the men were out of their trenches, singing carols and exchanging their meager supplies as goodwill gestures and shows of holiday spirit.

Of course, the commanders far away from the fighting did not approve of such behavior, but the soldiers there face to face with the enemy set aside their hostilities to be kind and thoughtful human beings, even in the face of war and death.

Reports on what happened the following days vary, but all agree that the front-line soldiers on both sides declared an unofficial truce. In some reports, the soldiers even played soccer on the battlefield.

Of course, sadly, the war resumed. For years to follow, soldiers fought for freedom in Europe. But in 1914 for the Christmas holidays, the soldiers set down their rifles and sang to the enemy.

Google the Christmas miracle of 1914. Then ask yourself if it truly is impossible to spread peace and goodwill for the holidays, even to people you hate.