What Safety Rules Should You Set With a New Nanny?

Here’s a quick test. If your nanny posted a sweet photo of your daughter at the park this afternoon, with the park tagged, would you know? And would she know she shouldn’t have?

For a lot of families, the honest answer to both is “probably not.” The nanny background check came back clean, the references glowed and the kids adore her, so the hiring part feels finished. But a background check only tells you about someone’s past. It can’t tell her your rules on photos, screens, car rides or visitors, and many nanny mix-ups happen simply because nobody said those rules out loud.

Hiring a nanny safely has two halves: choosing the right person, and then giving that person clear house rules. Six short conversations in the first week cover almost every gap. Here they are, ideally written down so everyone starts on the same page.

What a Nanny Background Check Does and Doesn’t Tell You

A standard nanny background check usually covers identity, criminal records and, depending on the service, driving history and sex offender registries. That’s an important floor, and it’s worth asking exactly which databases were searched and how recently. Reputable nanny agencies typically screen and interview candidates before placement, but house rules are still the family’s job.

What no check can show is how a caregiver will handle the gray areas of your particular home. That gap says nothing bad about her. She simply hasn’t been told yet. Most good nannies welcome clear rules, because guessing is stressful for them too.

Your Nanny Social Media Policy

Photos are the conversation parents forget most often, and a written nanny social media policy takes about ten minutes to agree on. A few questions to settle together:

• Can she post photos of your children anywhere, including her own private accounts?
• If so, are faces okay, or only hands, backs and silhouettes?
• Location tags, school names and uniforms stay out, since they reveal routines.
• Can she share photos in a group chat with other nannies or a playgroup?

Many families land on one simple rule: photos go to the parents only, and the parents decide what goes online. Whatever you choose, put it in writing so it doesn’t depend on anyone’s memory.

Nanny Screen Time Rules While You’re Out

Your rules shouldn’t change just because you’ve left the house. Clear nanny screen time rules are specific: how much time per day, which shows or apps are allowed, and where devices live, such as shared rooms only. Mention any parental controls you’ve set up and ask her to leave them as they are.

Talk about her phone too. Most parents are fine with a nanny checking messages; fewer are fine with long scrolling at the playground. A friendly “phone away during outdoor play and bath time” sets the tone without micromanaging.

And cover the moment you hope never happens: if a child sees something upsetting online, the plan can be as simple as “close it, comfort them, tell me tonight.”

Driving, Car Seats and Who Else May Ride

If your nanny will drive the children, settle these before the first outing:

• Whose car, and whose insurance covers it.
• Car seats: who installs them, and a check together that they’re installed correctly. Certified child passenger safety technicians offer seat checks in many communities, and you can find one through NHTSA’s car seat inspection locator.
• Phone use while driving: hands-free only, or none at all.
• Passengers: can she give a ride to another nanny, a friend or her own child?
• Destinations: which trips need a quick text first, such as anything involving the highway.

Visitors, Outings and Check-Ins

Can a friend of hers stop by? Can the kids join a playdate at another family’s house while you’re at work? Is the neighborhood pool okay in summer?

Sort plans into three groups: automatic yes, ask first, and no. It sounds formal, but it saves both of you from awkward texts later.

Pickups deserve their own short list. Write down which adults may collect the children from school, practices or a friend’s house, and share the same list with those places. If someone new needs to do a pickup, the rule can be that you text the school and the nanny yourself, so nobody has to guess whether a change is real.

Agree on check-ins as well. Some parents love a midday photo or a quick “nap went well.” Others prefer quiet unless something comes up. Either works, as long as you both know which one you’ve chosen.

The Emergency Plan

Finally, the conversation you hope will stay theoretical. Before her first solo day:

• Confirm she’s current on infant and child CPR and first aid, or book a class together.
• Post allergy and medication information on the fridge, with doses and the pediatrician’s number.
• Write down who to call, in order: 911 in an emergency, then you, then a backup adult nearby.
• Show her where the first-aid kit, flashlight and spare keys live.
• Keep your full address and nearest cross street by the phone, since a nervous caller can forget them.
• Walk through a power outage, a lost child at the park and a sudden fever.

It takes about twenty minutes, and it means a scary moment starts with a plan.

Put It All on One Page

Gather every decision into one shared document and look at it together again after the first month. Kids grow, routines shift, and the best nanny relationships are the ones where rules feel easy to talk about.

A simple format works well: one line per rule, plus a short reason. “No location tags, because they show where the kids go every day” is easier to remember, and easier to respect, than a bare “no tags.” Keep the page on the fridge or in a shared note, and add to it whenever something new comes up, like a first sleepover, a new driver or the first summer at the pool.

The background check got her through the door. These conversations are what keep everyone safe once she’s inside.