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Bullying First Aid

How to Stop Bullies

“You’re stupid, fat and ugly. In hockey that’s called a hat trick.” And the kids around the bully giggle. For a split-second you almost laugh. The insult is kind of funny. Or, it would be if it hadn’t been aimed at you. But the insult is aimed at you. And there you are, verbally slapped.

A mess of ideas run through your head. Run. Cry. Yell an insult back — but you’re flustered and the words stick in your head and mouth.

You need to be prepared to handle the situation at the moment that it happens. You need bullying first aid.

The first rule of bullying first aid is this:

IF YOU ARE ALONE OR AN UNCOMFORTABLE DISTANCE FROM A PUBLIC AREA, DO NOT LASH OUT OR BE INSULTING. SAY SOMETHING SOFT, LIKE “I’M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY,” OR “I GUESS THAT’S YOUR OPINION.” THEN LEAVE. WALK CALMLY, BUT FIRMLY. DON’T TAKE A CHANCE OF BEING INVOLVED IN A PHYSICAL ASSAULT.

That said, if you are close enough to other people or have friends around you, you have options. The best option is a strategy that is both confusing to the bully and takes away all the power of his or her insult: Be nice. Be really, really nice.

Here are some ideas of what you can say:

  1. “That’s pretty funny. Do you have any more lines?”
  2. “You remind me of those comedy roasts. Have you thought of doing comedy?”
  3. “I wish I could stay and hear more, but I have to go. Thanks for the laugh, though.”

Being nice is a great way to show the bully that his or her words don’t have the desired effect. A bully wants you to be scared, cry or show weakness. When you show the bully that the words don’t work on you, he or she has lost.

But you must be careful.

If you see any sign that the bully is so frustrated with your niceness that violence could happen, go back to the first rule and softly excuse yourself.

The key to performing truly effective bullying first aid is to practice.

Enlist your best friend or even a parent or sibling to play the role of the bully. Have that person really get into the role (pretending that they are the villain in a movie). Try different responses.

And most definitely practice the number one rule: IF YOU THINK YOU COULD BE IN PHYSICAL DANGER, GIVE A SOFT RESPONSE AND LEAVE.

Additional Bullying Resources:

“You’re stupid, fat and ugly. In hockey that’s called a hat trick.” And the kids around the bully giggle. For a split-second you almost laugh. The insult is kind of funny. Or, it would be if it hadn’t been aimed at you. But the insult is aimed at you. And there you are, verbally slapped.

A mess of ideas run through your head. Run. Cry. Yell an insult back — but you’re flustered and the words stick in your head and mouth.

You need to be prepared to handle the situation at the moment that it happens. You need bullying first aid.

The first rule of bullying first aid is this:

IF YOU ARE ALONE OR AN UNCOMFORTABLE DISTANCE FROM A PUBLIC AREA, DO NOT LASH OUT OR BE INSULTING. SAY SOMETHING SOFT, LIKE “I’M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY,” OR “I GUESS THAT’S YOUR OPINION.” THEN LEAVE. WALK CALMLY, BUT FIRMLY. DON’T TAKE A CHANCE OF BEING INVOLVED IN A PHYSICAL ASSAULT.

That said, if you are close enough to other people or have friends around you, you have options. The best option is a strategy that is both confusing to the bully and takes away all the power of his or her insult: Be nice. Be really, really nice.

Here are some ideas of what you can say:

  1. “That’s pretty funny. Do you have any more lines?”
  2. “You remind me of those comedy roasts. Have you thought of doing comedy?”
  3. “I wish I could stay and hear more, but I have to go. Thanks for the laugh, though.”

Being nice is a great way to show the bully that his or her words don’t have the desired effect. A bully wants you to be scared, cry or show weakness. When you show the bully that the words don’t work on you, he or she has lost.

But you must be careful.

If you see any sign that the bully is so frustrated with your niceness that violence could happen, go back to the first rule and softly excuse yourself.

The key to performing truly effective bullying first aid is to practice.

Enlist your best friend or even a parent or sibling to play the role of the bully. Have that person really get into the role (pretending that they are the villain in a movie). Try different responses.

And most definitely practice the number one rule: IF YOU THINK YOU COULD BE IN PHYSICAL DANGER, GIVE A SOFT RESPONSE AND LEAVE.

Additional Bullying Resources:

Your Life in 2017 – New Year Predictions!

New Years Kids 2017

For many people, a brand new year means a fresh start. For others, there is anticipation about upcoming events, such as another birthday or a special holiday trip. As one year rolls into the next, you may be looking for clues as to what the future holds. Here are 100% genuine true predictions for 2017.

1. You will hear or read something that will hurt your feelings.

Unfortunately, this is a fact of life. Remember that everyone sees the world differently and everyone has a different opinion. And just because you hear or read something that stings you, the commenter might not have meant anything mean.

The key is to not take things too personally.  Expect that people will disappoint you from time to time. Humans make mistakes and often do not intend to hurt others.

2. You will try to reach a goal and fail.

Winning at anything means taking steps along the way and stumbling. Every time you fail at reaching a goal, you get close to actually getting there.

Many famous and successful people have said that there is no success without failure. It is an essential stepping stone to greater things as long as you keep on trying.

3. You will try to reach a goal and succeed.

It might be a small goal, like getting a great mark on a pop quiz or finally being able to make a super-serious friend laugh at one of your jokes.

Every time you try to do something, it makes you stronger and more confident. Most people make lists of huge, towering resolutions and ultimately break them before the year has even started. Make lists of small goals and soon you will find bigger goals easier to tackle.

4. Something you do in 2017 will have a major effect on your life.

It could be a friend that you make. It could be some nice act you perform for another person that changes how you feel about yourself. It could be a new skill you learn or an achievement in school or online.

You might not even know that this “thing” is important until years later. Still, 2017 will make a difference for years to come. Think about that when you get up each morning.

5. One of your idols will do or say something idiotic.

Yup. That’s a guarantee. As a matter of fact, all of us will do or say something idiotic in 2017.

It could be in person or online, but every single living human being will say or do or post something that will look silly to others. That’s why everyone of us should expect to say, “I’m sorry,” or “I’ve made a mistake” at least once in 2017.

6. You will make at least one decision between right and wrong.

Doing the right thing in the face of adversity is never easy. You may be approached to cheat on a test or be tempted to ignore a good friend because of peer pressure.

You may see someone being bullied and want to help them but be faced with fear of what will happen if you do.  Accept that you will make mistakes in 2017 like every other human on the planet.   The important thing is to decide now the kind of person you want to be and surround yourself with the type of people that will help you “be that person”.

7. You will work and you will play – and you can have fun doing both.

A good life is about balance.  All play and no work brings discontentment.  We all need goads to strive for.  All work and no play will stress you out and is not healthy.  Plan now to make sure there is balance in your life… between sports and school, between family and friends and even your own “alone time”.

2017 is going to be an interesting year. The person you are when it begins is not the person you will be when you celebrate 2018.

Enjoy the changes in your life and around the world.

For many people, a brand new year means a fresh start. For others, there is anticipation about upcoming events, such as another birthday or a special holiday trip. As one year rolls into the next, you may be looking for clues as to what the future holds. Here are 100% genuine true predictions for 2017.

1. You will hear or read something that will hurt your feelings.

Unfortunately, this is a fact of life. Remember that everyone sees the world differently and everyone has a different opinion. And just because you hear or read something that stings you, the commenter might not have meant anything mean.

The key is to not take things too personally.  Expect that people will disappoint you from time to time. Humans make mistakes and often do not intend to hurt others.

2. You will try to reach a goal and fail.

Winning at anything means taking steps along the way and stumbling. Every time you fail at reaching a goal, you get close to actually getting there.

Many famous and successful people have said that there is no success without failure. It is an essential stepping stone to greater things as long as you keep on trying.

3. You will try to reach a goal and succeed.

It might be a small goal, like getting a great mark on a pop quiz or finally being able to make a super-serious friend laugh at one of your jokes.

Every time you try to do something, it makes you stronger and more confident. Most people make lists of huge, towering resolutions and ultimately break them before the year has even started. Make lists of small goals and soon you will find bigger goals easier to tackle.

4. Something you do in 2017 will have a major effect on your life.

It could be a friend that you make. It could be some nice act you perform for another person that changes how you feel about yourself. It could be a new skill you learn or an achievement in school or online.

You might not even know that this “thing” is important until years later. Still, 2017 will make a difference for years to come. Think about that when you get up each morning.

5. One of your idols will do or say something idiotic.

Yup. That’s a guarantee. As a matter of fact, all of us will do or say something idiotic in 2017.

It could be in person or online, but every single living human being will say or do or post something that will look silly to others. That’s why everyone of us should expect to say, “I’m sorry,” or “I’ve made a mistake” at least once in 2017.

6. You will make at least one decision between right and wrong.

Doing the right thing in the face of adversity is never easy. You may be approached to cheat on a test or be tempted to ignore a good friend because of peer pressure.

You may see someone being bullied and want to help them but be faced with fear of what will happen if you do.  Accept that you will make mistakes in 2017 like every other human on the planet.   The important thing is to decide now the kind of person you want to be and surround yourself with the type of people that will help you “be that person”.

7. You will work and you will play – and you can have fun doing both.

A good life is about balance.  All play and no work brings discontentment.  We all need goads to strive for.  All work and no play will stress you out and is not healthy.  Plan now to make sure there is balance in your life… between sports and school, between family and friends and even your own “alone time”.

2017 is going to be an interesting year. The person you are when it begins is not the person you will be when you celebrate 2018.

Enjoy the changes in your life and around the world.

An Incredible Holiday Gift – And it’s Absolutely Free!

the free holiday gift

This holiday season, there is one gift you can give the world that doesn’t cost one cent. Be nice. Being nice is easy. It can take many forms. You could use your graphics program to create a thoughtful message and stick it in the lockers at school. You can shovel the walks of elderly people you know.

You can even use social media. Consider posting messages of goodwill to as many people as you can. The trick is to post positive messages to people you may not like or even get along with.

“Be nice? No way. I hate him.” That might be true, but think about this: There are people who like and even love that person that you hate. No matter how you feel about a person, someone else sees good and worthwhile qualities in him or her.

Remember, that guy or girl you dislike has friends, family, neighbors and co-workers who like them. And people you dislike probably dislike you! And you know in your heart that you are a good person, just like people you don’t like think that they are a good person.

Still think it is impossible to be nice to someone you hate? Then you need to hear an amazing story about soldiers being nice to people they were trying to shoot.

Go back in your mind to World War 1, December, 1914. On one side of the battlefield: The Germans. On the other side: British, French and Belgian troops.

Soldiers were huddled in the cold dirt, in trenches on both sides. Late on Christmas eve night, the moon was bright and magical. Someone on the German side rose from his hole in the ground to start singing Christmas carols.

Other German soldiers soon joined in. When they were done, the other side—the Allies—sang a Christmas carol in return. Soon, the men were out of their trenches, singing carols and exchanging their meager supplies as goodwill gestures and shows of holiday spirit.

Of course, the commanders far away from the fighting did not approve of such behavior, but the soldiers there face to face with the enemy set aside their hostilities to be kind and thoughtful human beings, even in the face of war and death.

Reports on what happened the following days vary, but all agree that the front-line soldiers on both sides declared an unofficial truce. In some reports, the soldiers even played soccer on the battlefield.

Of course, sadly, the war resumed. For years to follow, soldiers fought for freedom in Europe. But in 1914 for the Christmas holidays, the soldiers set down their rifles and sang to the enemy.

Google the Christmas miracle of 1914. Then ask yourself if it truly is impossible to spread peace and goodwill for the holidays, even to people you hate.

This holiday season, there is one gift you can give the world that doesn’t cost one cent. Be nice. Being nice is easy. It can take many forms. You could use your graphics program to create a thoughtful message and stick it in the lockers at school. You can shovel the walks of elderly people you know.

You can even use social media. Consider posting messages of goodwill to as many people as you can. The trick is to post positive messages to people you may not like or even get along with.

“Be nice? No way. I hate him.” That might be true, but think about this: There are people who like and even love that person that you hate. No matter how you feel about a person, someone else sees good and worthwhile qualities in him or her.

Remember, that guy or girl you dislike has friends, family, neighbors and co-workers who like them. And people you dislike probably dislike you! And you know in your heart that you are a good person, just like people you don’t like think that they are a good person.

Still think it is impossible to be nice to someone you hate? Then you need to hear an amazing story about soldiers being nice to people they were trying to shoot.

Go back in your mind to World War 1, December, 1914. On one side of the battlefield: The Germans. On the other side: British, French and Belgian troops.

Soldiers were huddled in the cold dirt, in trenches on both sides. Late on Christmas eve night, the moon was bright and magical. Someone on the German side rose from his hole in the ground to start singing Christmas carols.

Other German soldiers soon joined in. When they were done, the other side—the Allies—sang a Christmas carol in return. Soon, the men were out of their trenches, singing carols and exchanging their meager supplies as goodwill gestures and shows of holiday spirit.

Of course, the commanders far away from the fighting did not approve of such behavior, but the soldiers there face to face with the enemy set aside their hostilities to be kind and thoughtful human beings, even in the face of war and death.

Reports on what happened the following days vary, but all agree that the front-line soldiers on both sides declared an unofficial truce. In some reports, the soldiers even played soccer on the battlefield.

Of course, sadly, the war resumed. For years to follow, soldiers fought for freedom in Europe. But in 1914 for the Christmas holidays, the soldiers set down their rifles and sang to the enemy.

Google the Christmas miracle of 1914. Then ask yourself if it truly is impossible to spread peace and goodwill for the holidays, even to people you hate.

You’ll Never Grow Out Of Trouble

Kids sometimes feel insulted or frustrated when always warned by adults about the dangers of social media. They shouldn’t be. Just because someone has more life experience and education doesn’t mean they won’t make stupid mistakes on social media.

The Internet is full of frightening and sometimes laughable stories about adults who should know better getting in serious trouble over social media activity.

Young adults with high enough marks to apply for college will probably find that their social media history could prevent them from higher education. Admissions officers at universities and colleges commonly read a candidate’s Facebook page before deciding to accept his or her application.

Some goes as far as to search for candidate’s who have been tagged by friends to see pictures of that candidate’s behavior.

Rude and mean behavior isn’t all that recruiters look for; some potential students have lost athletic scholarships valuing in the hundreds of thousands of dollars because they posted pictures of injuries which scared off sports recruiters.

The scrutiny continues when adults apply for work. An on-line site published by Time Magazine reported that 93% of businesses check out an applicant’s tweets and posts before offering the person a job. Any behavior that reflects poorly on a company will tend to have a resume tossed to the side.

Even adult with good, solid jobs have to be careful on-line. People have lost their jobs because bosses saw posts critical to the business. Workers have been fired or reprimanded when bosses spotted posts that were made during work hours or found tweets where employees complained about their jobs in off-work hours.

Privacy settings don’t keep adults safe, either. Friends can like a post or re-tweet a few words that can easily be found by others.

You don’t even have to post words or pictures for social media to get into trouble.

In 2015, an Australian woman had a real-life dispute with a co-worker in her office. She later went home and unfriended the co-worker. A job-place tribunal found the woman guilty of cyberbullying—all because she hit the unfriend button.

Adults are absolutely correct when they lecture kids about being smart with social media. With more experience in dealing with life and the world, adults have a better grasp of dangers that lurk on-line. Yet all that experience and knowledge can’t prevent adults from getting into trouble with posts and tweets.

Regardless of age or education, anyone can get into trouble or be personally damaged by a simple slip on social media.

Kids sometimes feel insulted or frustrated when always warned by adults about the dangers of social media. They shouldn’t be. Just because someone has more life experience and education doesn’t mean they won’t make stupid mistakes on social media.

The Internet is full of frightening and sometimes laughable stories about adults who should know better getting in serious trouble over social media activity.

Young adults with high enough marks to apply for college will probably find that their social media history could prevent them from higher education. Admissions officers at universities and colleges commonly read a candidate’s Facebook page before deciding to accept his or her application.

Some goes as far as to search for candidate’s who have been tagged by friends to see pictures of that candidate’s behavior.

Rude and mean behavior isn’t all that recruiters look for; some potential students have lost athletic scholarships valuing in the hundreds of thousands of dollars because they posted pictures of injuries which scared off sports recruiters.

The scrutiny continues when adults apply for work. An on-line site published by Time Magazine reported that 93% of businesses check out an applicant’s tweets and posts before offering the person a job. Any behavior that reflects poorly on a company will tend to have a resume tossed to the side.

Even adult with good, solid jobs have to be careful on-line. People have lost their jobs because bosses saw posts critical to the business. Workers have been fired or reprimanded when bosses spotted posts that were made during work hours or found tweets where employees complained about their jobs in off-work hours.

Privacy settings don’t keep adults safe, either. Friends can like a post or re-tweet a few words that can easily be found by others.

You don’t even have to post words or pictures for social media to get into trouble.

In 2015, an Australian woman had a real-life dispute with a co-worker in her office. She later went home and unfriended the co-worker. A job-place tribunal found the woman guilty of cyberbullying—all because she hit the unfriend button.

Adults are absolutely correct when they lecture kids about being smart with social media. With more experience in dealing with life and the world, adults have a better grasp of dangers that lurk on-line. Yet all that experience and knowledge can’t prevent adults from getting into trouble with posts and tweets.

Regardless of age or education, anyone can get into trouble or be personally damaged by a simple slip on social media.

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