Category: Bullying

What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied: Single Parent’s Guide

Single Parent Guide with Bullied Child

“I am a single parent, and my lovely kid is being bullied at school. Is my status as a single parent the main reason for a child’s violence? How can I stop bullying? Are there resources available to assist me in helping my child? ” Many threads on parenting forums begin like this.

There are many ways you can help your children cope with cruel treatment. However, to provide the correct aid, you first need to understand the true bullying nature.

What do the statistics say?

According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, every fifth child (20.2%) reported being bullied at school. And many of them think the bullying will also continue after graduation.

The constant exposure to bullying at primary school and high school can traumatize the mental health of children. As a result, kids become fearful, depressed, have low self-esteem, and have sleep difficulties. Also, when a child is being bullied for a long period, suicidal thoughts may appear.

Students from different states ages 12-18 indicated that they had been subjected to different types of bullying, including:

  • Threatened with harm – 3.9%;
  • Destroying of the property on purpose – 1.4%;
  • Being the subject of lies or rumors- 13.4%;
  • Shoved, pushed, spit on, or tripped – 5.3%;
  • Being made fun of, insulted, or name-calling – 13.0%;
  • Exclusion – 5.2%;
  • Others tried to make them do things they did not want to do – 1.9%.

The males are more likely to be subjected to physical violence, and females are often subjected to verbal (rumor) violence. But not all parents are aware of this.

The bullying symptoms and why it happens

Schoolchildren rarely speak openly about their problems to their parents for fear of condemnation and that the situation will worsen.

Typical bullying symptoms include emotional and physical complaints such as worries, fears, and tummy aches. In addition, the kids do not want to go to school for some reason. In such a way, kids try to avoid things that are making them stressed.

Childhood society is like a wild jungle, where everyone learns to survive, coexist, and defend themselves. In this case, the herd instinct is triggered. It pushes children to group together in search of protection. As a result, a sense of security gives confidence and the ability to defend their interests. After all, there will always be someone who will cover your back.

When someone is different or does not fit into the framework of the already established order of the children’s society, we have bullying. “Weaks” under the protection of a strong leader will attack the “black sheep” with a special effort. Why? They may also have a fear of being in the victim’s shoes.

Anyone can become a black sheep – the child is an excellent student, too beautiful, an orphan, poor, not talkative, or just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Below are practical tips and advice for what you can do when your daughter or son is being bullied at school.

Tips How to Teach Your Child to Deal with Bullying

Avoid Wrong Attitudes

While giving guidance, people want to do what is best. But often, it leads to misunderstanding or alienation between the child and the parent. As a result, the child can retire into their shell and stop sharing their problems with a single parent.

To help your child deal with bullies, you should avoid such bullying myths:

“You need to learn how to resist bullies.”

Children who tell their father or mother about bullying are looking for support first. They may be upset and depressed. Therefore, it is not necessary to say that they have to cope with the situation independently. If a child asks for help, they can not do it alone.

“Words will never harm you, unlike sticks and stones.”

You shouldn’t underestimate the power of words. Unfortunately, sometimes the consequences of name-calling can cause mental pain for many years.

“We all went through it, and we’re fine.”

Bullying is not the behavior norm. It can lead to long-term negative mental and physical health effects. Many adults who were frequently bullied during their school years have PTSD.

“You have to stand up for yourself and fight back when you are bullied.”

Violence breeds violence. A bully fight can make the situation worse and hurt your child. Also, responding to bullying at school may cause your child to be punished for school disturbance.

Use a Strategy for Dealing with Bullying in School

When teaching children to handle bullies, a single parent first needs to explain how to respond to bullying appropriately:

  • Don’t expect to be mistreated from the start. It would help if you were not wary and belligerent towards the new group of children. Instead, it would be best if you treated others the way you want others to treat you.
  • Don’t let the bully make you feel bad. Ask, “So what?” You are not a hundred-dollar bill to please all. There will always be someone who doesn’t like something about you. However, this does not mean that you do not have positive traits. Always keep your benefits in mind.
  • Disarm the bully with humor. Laugh at their name-calling or threats, and then leave. Are they trying to hurt you by pointing out your flaws? Instead, show that you can laugh at yourself and accept your weaknesses.
  • Tell the bully how you feel and what you want them to do. Sometimes, when peers use name-calling, they do not think it can cause the victim severe emotional pain. For little hooligans, this is just entertainment. So express your feelings about name-calling or other types of bullying in a calm and confident voice.

Bullies often want to assert themselves at the expense of the victims because they look stronger and more authoritative. However, they do not yet realize that fear does not equal respect.

Take more serious action to stop bullying

If your children are being bullied every time they go to school, you should cooperate with the administration and other parents to improve the situation. Also, it would be more helpful if you prepared your child to make intelligent choices and teach them how to act if they experience or see someone being bullied.

Step 1. Talk to Your Child

First, talk to your child about the situation. You should find out how long the bullying has taken place, who the bully is, the reasons for the bullying, and how it all started. Also, avoid extreme reactions and judgments. It will help if you do not make hasty decisions until you see the whole picture.

Step 2. Report About Repeated Bullying

If your child is afraid or unwilling to report bullying on their own, you should go with them. Talk to the teacher, psychologist, and school principal to help resolve the situation under the school policy against harassment. If necessary, contact your family therapist, police officer, or specialist organizations such as Olweus Bullying Prevention Program (OBPP), Stomp Out Bullying, and National Bullying Prevention Center to help stop bullying.

Step 3. Contact the Offender’s Parents

Working as a team is a smart way to deal with peer bullying as soon as possible. As a parent of the victim party, you should call or email the offender’s parents to resolve the issue together. But, in no case should you accuse them of the improper upbringing of their child.

Step 4. Cooperate with Your Child’s School

Teachers may not know that your child is getting bullied at school because no one tells them about it. Let them know about any bullying that has happened, and feel free to suggest anti-bullying programs to add to school policy. Although many schools already have similar policies, they still lack resources and support from the community and parents.

Step 5. Teach Coping Skills

If your child is being bullied, remind them that it is not their fault, and you will always be on their side and ready to help. Children of all ages need to define their feelings to tell their parents about what happens.

Final Word

Unfortunately, bullying at school is a common issue. Therefore, as a single parent, you should prepare your child in advance to avoid harassment from peers. Become an example for your child of how to get along with others. It is also essential to help them develop positive body language because our body unconsciously indicates our inner state and attitude towards others.

by: Natalie Maximets

Natalie Maximets is a certified life transformation coach at OnlineDivorce.com. She has expertise in mindfulness and sustainability. She is a published author focused on the most progressive solutions in the field of psychology. Natalie helps people go through fundamental life challenges, such as divorce, and build an entirely new life by reframing their personal narrative.

How to Prevent Cyberbullying Using Parental Monitoring Apps?

Cyberbullying Prevention Parental Monitoring Apps

When Bill Belsey, creator of a website to fight traditional bullying, coined the term ‘cyberbullying’ in 1998, even he wouldn’t have envisaged the transformation that the internet and electronic devices would undergo in next two decades and the frequency with which ‘cyberbullying’ would be used as a topic of serious concern for the younger generation.

A cyberbully is someone who harasses you using a digital device such as a computer, a mobile phone, or a tablet. Harassment is perpetrated in many different ways: through text messages, applications, social media, forums, or interactive games.

The dissemination of offensive, harmful, false, or cruel information about someone simply for the purpose of humiliating or embarrassing them may constitute cyberbullying. The acts in question are often illegal and thus condemned.

Parents often dismiss cyberbullying as trivial due to the belief that minor damage can be caused via the internet. Cyberbullying, however, can be even more harmful than in-person bullying. Cyberbullying occurs at all times of the day and night, so kids and teens who are victimized have a hard time getting away from bullies. While many parents consider home a safe haven for their children to escape bullying, cyberbullying follows them home.

The anonymity and difficulty of tracing such bullying make it particularly damaging and upsetting. As well as being difficult to control, the victim has no idea how many people (or how many hundreds of people) have seen what they have written. People can suffer from constant anxiety. every time they check their gadgets or computers.

Despite the importance of understanding the various forms of cyberbullying, getting a complete understanding of it also requires understanding the bullies themselves and why they attack others. Boredom, revenge, anger, and the desire to provoke a reaction from their victims are some of the reasons students engage in these behaviors.

It’s also true that what may seem like online harassment may at times just be an accident. Online communication is impersonal, which makes it hard to determine whether someone is being sarcastic or not.

Cyberbullying Related Stats

  • A survey by Bullying Statistics found that half of all young adults experienced cyberbullying at least once. Another ten to twenty percent reported it regularly.
  • In some ways, cyberbullying might be linked to suicide. Depressive thoughts are prevalent among 80 percent of young people who commit suicide. Suicidal thoughts are often more frequently triggered by cyberbullying than traditional bullying.
  • According to PewResearch, the prevalence of cyberbullying among girls is higher than among men. On average, 36% of girls reported being cyberbullied, compared with 26% of men.
  • The amount of cyberbullying students experience at school can negatively affect their school performance. The odds of mental illness and behavioral problems are also higher with them. (https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/bullying-factsheet508.pdf)
  • According to a report published by Bullying Research, gamers are significantly more likely to be both the victims and perpetrators of cyberbullying.

Impact of cyberbullying on children

Cyberbullying is becoming more cruel, and the impact on those involved is becoming even more profound. Cyberbullying is worse than traditional bullying in many ways, infiltrating every aspect of the victim’s life and causing psychological trauma.

1. Emotional Impact

People who are victimized by cyberbullying may suffer long-term emotional, behavioral, concentration, and social issues. Their social lives might also be affected by these problems, as they may have difficulty relating to others. A higher proportion of them experience trust problems and abuse alcohol and drugs earlier in life. Peers may treat cyberbullying victims with shame, which can result in dangerous stigmas.

Many cyberbullying victims have a hard time feeling safe because of it. The feeling of vulnerability and helplessness may be overwhelming. Online bullying can affect someone at all times of the day via computer or cell phone since it can invade their home through that device. The place where they could escape is no longer available to them.

2. Physical Impact

Although cyberbullies are not physically threatened, they still suffer from physiological symptoms. Their excessive nervousness often results in headaches and stomach pain. It is also possible for them to commit self-harm. Psychological problems such as digestive issues and eating disorders can be caused by feelings of stress and anxiety caused by cyberbullying.

A child being cyberbullied may skip meals or binge eat as a result of the bullying. People who experience cyberbullying may experience sleep disruptions. Insomnia, sleeping more than usual, or nightmares are among the sleep issues they might experience. Additionally, a bullied individual’s stress can also aggravate or cause stomach ulcers, intestinal pain, or upset stomach.

3. Mental Impact

Symptoms of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are exacerbated by cyberbullying among adolescents, according to research published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. The study found that cyberbullying worsened depressive symptoms more forcefully than other indicators in children from challenging backgrounds. Researchers hypothesize that cyberbullying may result in psychological maladjustment, reduced well-being, and eventually low self-esteem in young people because young people have an intense psychological need to belong to and be accepted by a peer group.

Additionally, the study indicated a vicious cycle. The likelihood of being bullied online was more significant for those who were depressed or suffering from mental health issues than those who did not suffer from such issues. Study results confirmed previous findings, the researchers said.

4. Behavioral Impact

A cyberbullied child may exhibit the same behavioral changes as a child who is bullied in a traditional setting. These individuals lack interest in activities and are secretive. In certain circumstances, when kids have been cyberbullied, going to school is too much for them. In order to avoid school, they sometimes skip classes or behave in such a way that results in their suspensions.

A further effect of cyberbullying is anger, which shouldn’t come as a surprise. In a victim’s emotional range, anger is often a dominant emotion. Some children may even consider revenge plans, as evidenced by the school shootings and other aggressions committed by bullying victims who couldn’t deal with what had happened to them.

Remember – a parent or trusted adult is informed of cyberbullying by only one in ten young people. The low number may have been caused by embarrassment, fear of not being believed, or fear of losing access to technology. To ensure your child seeks support when they need it, you can take proactive steps to educate them about how to combat cyberbullying.

You should have a gentle, honest, and open conversation if you suspect something is wrong. It’s hard to avoid being involved in a situation when your children are stressed, but there are steps that you can take to help. A parental monitoring app is one of the best options if chosen and implemented correctly to ensure that you know what your children are doing with their digital devices.

Parental Monitoring Apps

Giving children digital freedom and knowing when that freedom ends can be a challenge for parents. Many parents are aware that cutting off kids’ access to the internet may have adverse effects on their development and learning. Sadly, this also means that children are exposed to cyberbullying.

Therefore, installing effective security software with parental control on all devices can help parents help their kids remain safe in the digital world. Children should learn to use a security system on their devices just like they learn to lock doors when they’re alone at home.

The use of parental monitoring tools is practically essential for making sure your children are protected. It monitors what kids write and what they do on their computers, tablets, and smartphones. Although you can do this by looking over their shoulders, this is much easier to do today, thanks to technology. An accomplished and efficient parental monitoring app like Fenced.ai, Bark.us, NetNanny can act as a highly amicable tool to help you protect your kids from being cyberbullied.

How Do Parental Monitoring Apps Helps To Prevent Cyberbullying

  • Parents can track and monitor SMS, calls, and emails to be aware of any uncertain activities.
  • Parental alerts will be sent on suicidal indications and cyberbullying immediately.
  • Contributes to the development and teaching of anti-cyber self-defense
  • Blocks and filters unwanted applications and websites
  • Sets time limits aimed at limiting the use of social media and digital technology

Listed below are a few applications that provide monitoring functions of their own.

Fenced.ai – All in One Best For Parental Control App

NetCut – Best For Internet Control

FamiSafe – Best for Location Tracking

DNSFilter – Best For Website Filtering

ReThink – Best Anti-Bullying App

How to use parental monitoring apps to prevent cyberbullying

We should begin by saying that prohibition is something you should not do with your children. In situations where cyberbullying is present from the start, the minor may want to remain silent if they are prohibited access to the devices. Parenting should be characterized by calmness and alertness, not restriction.

A kid’s phone book can be blocked from seeing suspicious contacts, certain apps can be restricted, texts and emails can be monitored, and locating them can be done through GPS tracking. As evidence when reporting cyberbullying, you can also see and use the multimedia files that bullies send to your child. It is also possible to set triggering words for your kid and receive notifications every time your kid sends or receives a message containing these words.

Cyberbullying can be prevented even before it happens when you monitor your children’s online activity with these programs. As soon as your child is the victim of cyberbullying, block the offender, preserve all evidence, take screenshots, take notes, print out text messages, etc. Cyberbullying can and should be dealt with by involving the child’s parent. Involving parents can immediately stop the behavior.

Parents never want their kids to hurt others, but if a child is being bullied, they are indeed being bullied by someone else. And that child most probably has a loving parent as well. If you find out that your child is a bully, getting them to stop bullying is the first step, but you shouldn’t overreact. Tell them you know what they’re up to and make them understand the implications of their actions. So, a parental monitoring app can’t just help you stop your kid from being bullied but also prevent them from being a bully themselves.

It is never a bad thing to have a lot of information about our children’s online activities. New platforms are popping up all the time, so knowing the ones your child is using is the best way to keep them safe.

Conclusion

In the internet-active age groups, including teenagers and pre-teens, cyberbullying is an incredibly prevalent problem. Bullies are rude, violent, unrelenting, and mean people. Learn what social media platforms your child uses and educate yourself on the many types of cyberbullying that exist. Arm yourself with information when attempting to prevent cyberbullying.

It is not uncommon for parents to be concerned their children are being cyberbullied, being targeted in some way, or simply overusing or otherwise abusing their technology privileges. As you remind them, access and use are privileges, not rights, and with those privileges come responsibilities.

Our children suffer when they are hurt, and we naturally want the pain to stop as soon as possible. Slowing down and listening is almost always best, as this can lead to a victim’s healing. Children, at least, expect it, and it illustrates our respect for them, helps them understand what happened, learn from it, gain more resilience, and regain the dignity that they felt taken away from them.

A parental monitoring program enables you to monitor your child’s online activities, identify bullies and predators, and prevent communication between your child and these people. A bullied child can suffer a lot of stress and suffer from severe consequences. Make sure your child knows they can talk to you at any time. Go even further. Monitor their online behavior to keep them safe.

How to Protect Children from Bullying

Protect Children from Bullying

Bullying starts in preschool and the impact increases as children develop. Irrespective of wherever you read, always somewhere in the range of 40 and 80 percent of the school children confess to having been bullied or harassed. So obviously, our way of life bears some duty regarding the certainty of bullying and harassment.

Tragically, the schools are still battling to execute powerful methodologies, and the situation is deteriorating. The effect of social media and bullying, appearing as cyberbullying expanded the base to affect the students mentally. The children need to be protected, and more schools have to start addressing such issues more seriously.

Modern School ECNCR-Delhi is a premier CBSE School in Delhi. The school has taken extra precautionary steps to end any such tormenting behaviour and torture in any form.

“If children have been accustomed from the start to having their world-respected, they will have no trouble later in life recognizing disrespect directed against them in any form and will rebel against it on their own.”- Alice Miller

Students must be deliberate to seek help in situations like these. But for children who need help, the teachers and parents must jump in and take charge.

1. Managing relationships

The best way to hold youngsters back from being bullied, or turning into one, is to ensure they experience a childhood full of love and care in cherishing, conscious connections, unlike the ones that use force or power to control them. Kids learn the two sides of each relationship, and they can act it is possible that one. When you punish, your kid will discover that actual brutality is the best approach to react to relational issues. The examination has more than once settled that truly training a kid is related to additional harassing practices.

2. Sticking through with the child in all situations

Quiet and shy children are the source of the bullies. Also, these kids are embarrassed that they’re being bullied, so they won’t talk about it to their teachers, friends, or parents. If your kid realizes that you will consistently stay with them and that you have their back, they are bound to chat with you about things that trouble them.

3. Keeping lines of communication open

How would you ensure your child will tell you about what troubles them? Keep in mind, nurturing is 80% connection formation – a cozy relationship with your kid – and just 20% teaching. The direction will not stick except if you have the relationship to help it, and will simply drive your child away. So, focus on your relationship with your youngster, and keep those lines of trust open, regardless.

4. Modeling respect for others

If you lose your temper and insult out other people on the road while driving, you’re showing your child that sometimes it’s alright to disregard others. On the other hand, if you don’t cause a ruckus, and do not call out other people, it’s an ideal opportunity to change that. Your child is learning from you. Test yourself before passing judgments to others. You are being noticed; your child might pick up the wrong things from your behavior. It is always better to tone yourself down, especially when you children around you.

Modern school online admission form is open for all students to apply and check out more anti-bullying and anti-ragging guidelines.

Educating oneself on bullying and cyberbullying is key to protecting children

Couples, single parents and educators need to be vigilante to research proven strategies of detection and bullying prevention, both online and at school.  Likewise, children should be encouraged to learn themselves with guidance so they will be equipped to deal with any harmful situation they are exposed to.

How Cyberbullying Affects Your Child’s Psyche

How You Can Help Stop Cyberbullying

How You Can Help Stop Cyberbullying

Do you know what a bystander is?  It’s someone who watches an event taking place from the side lines.  They do not interact or take part in what is happening.  People talk a lot about cyberbullies and their victims. One part of this social ill that people rarely talk about is how bystanders effect the situation. Some researchers call them “cyberbystanders.”

Cyberbystanders are those who watch cyberbullying while it happens. They are the other people in chat rooms or on social media apps who can read the posts that the bully posts to the victim. Yet, they don’t do anything to help stop it.

Are you a Cyberbully Bystander?

Cyberbystanders can be middle-school kids, college students or even business associates. These people will watch the exchange and have a chance to speak up. But do they?

Many studies have been done to see exactly what happens to cyberbystanders. A university study found that only one out of ten cyberbystanders will take a stand during the exchange. The action these people take is usually limited to posting support for the victim or posting comments that the bully should back off.

Most of the time, though, cyberbystanders do nothing. The studies seem to show that cyberbystanders didn’t want to get the middle of a situation that was none of their business. They didn’t seem to make the connection that they were on a public site—making everything that happened there public.

Some of the cyberbystanders who did nothing during the bullying did take action afterwards. They sent comments to moderators or to the site’s security officers. Moderators and site security can remove offending posts and even ban bullies from the site.

Companies are taking cyberbullying more seriously these days and will often respond to comments within hours. This can help prevent further bullying, but still doesn’t make a difference to the victim of the bullying that’s already happened.

Cyberbystanders online act much like real-life bystanders. When an accident happens on the street, if there are lots of people watching, then people are less likely to help. In other words, the more witnesses there are, the fewer people will help.

That is the same online. If lots of people are watching the posts and tweets, the less likely someone will step in and defend the victim or criticize the bully. If only a couple people are reading the posts—or witness the accident—the more likely they are to step in and help. On the other hand, the more people that are following an ugly exchange online, the more brutal the bully will be. It seems that bullies like an audience.

Social scientists are still trying to understand the difference cyberbystanders make to online communication. What you can do is remember that you are probably a cyberbystander. Talk with your teachers, friends or family about what you should do when you see bullying happen online. Don’t be one of the nine out of ten who does nothing.

FamiSafe and Safe Search Kids have joined together to stop cyberbullying, as well as prevent it and help those who are victims. It’s a sad fact. Cyberbullying can can spread to anywhere the internet can reach, which is pretty much everywhere. So, we all need to work together.

You can do your part with The No Cyberbullying Challenge.  Simply make an anti-cyberbullying post with the hashtags: #FamiSafe #NoCyberbullying. Every little bit helps in preventing and stopping the internet being used for harm instead of good.

Bullying First Aid when you are Bullied

Are you being bullied, whether on the playground or online?  We know it hurts. Have you heard these hurtful words?

“You’re stupid, fat and ugly. In hockey that’s called a hat trick.” And the kids around the bully giggle. For a split-second you almost laugh. The insult is kind of funny. Or, it would be if it hadn’t been aimed at you. But the insult is aimed at you. And there you are, verbally slapped.

A mess of ideas run through your head. Run. Cry. Yell an insult back — but you’re flustered and the words stick in your head and mouth.

You need to be prepared to handle the situation at the moment that it happens. You need bullying first aid.

The first rule of bullying first aid is this:

IF YOU ARE ALONE OR AN UNCOMFORTABLE DISTANCE FROM A PUBLIC AREA, DO NOT LASH OUT OR BE INSULTING. SAY SOMETHING SOFT, LIKE “I’M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY,” OR “I GUESS THAT’S YOUR OPINION.” THEN LEAVE. WALK CALMLY, BUT FIRMLY. DON’T TAKE A CHANCE OF BEING INVOLVED IN A PHYSICAL ASSAULT.

That said, if you are close enough to other people or have friends around you, you have options. The best option is a strategy that is both confusing to the bully and takes away all the power of his or her insult: Be nice. Be really, really nice.

Here are some ideas of what you can say:

  1. “That’s pretty funny. Do you have any more lines?”
  2. “You remind me of those comedy roasts. Have you thought of doing comedy?”
  3. “I wish I could stay and hear more, but I have to go. Thanks for the laugh, though.”

Being nice is a great way to show the bully that his or her words don’t have the desired effect. A bully wants you to be scared, cry or show weakness. When you show the bully that the words don’t work on you, he or she has lost.

But you must be careful.

If you see any sign that the bully is so frustrated with your niceness that violence could happen, go back to the first rule and softly excuse yourself.

The key to performing truly effective bullying first aid is to practice.

Enlist your best friend or even a parent or sibling to play the role of the bully. Have that person really get into the role (pretending that they are the villain in a movie). Try different responses.

And most definitely practice the number one rule: IF YOU THINK YOU COULD BE IN PHYSICAL DANGER, GIVE A SOFT RESPONSE AND LEAVE.

Additional Bullying Resources:

Holiday Kids Gift Book