Category: Parenting

3 Tips for Letting Your Kids Game Productively

Girl gaming while real life action figures fight in the background.

Ensuring that your kid’s gaming time doesn’t eat into their studying time can be particularly tricky. This is especially so in our modern world, in which games can be played on virtually every device, making it harder to set clear boundaries between fun and focus.

While educational math games are ideal for the classroom, your child will likely still want to spend a little time on Minecraft. There are some key ways you can ensure that your kid’s gaming can be a part of a healthy, productive relationship with the world around them, so let’s talk about that.

Create a positive feedback loop

A great way to ensure that your child obsessively thinks about gaming is to attempt to outright ban it in your home. Instead, consider what level of gaming you would think is healthy and appropriate, and create a positive feedback loop where they can engage to that degree.

For example, you might consider two hours with a ten-minute break in the middle to be a healthy approach to gaming. Instead of punishing your child when they don’t conform to that rule, celebrate them when they do. Perhaps offer them their favorite snack during that break time.

Be engaged with your child’s games

A child spending their time sealed off from the world around them is one that can develop quite an unhealthy relationship with both games in general, and the people in their life. A great way to bridge this gap is to become interested and engaged in the games your child is playing.

While this might be a little tricky if you’re not a gamer yourself, you can follow some simple rules to engage well. For instance, ask an open-ended question about a character in the game, and allow your child to talk as much as they want. You could also sit with your child while they game, and point out some tips and tricks.

Engaging with their hobby will help them to understand that you want to be a part of their life. With time and patience, the two of you can build up a relationship over this complex part of our world.

Little boy throwing large ball to big brother.

Create a balanced rule system

While a hard and fast rule system may have worked in the past, it may not be ideal in your home. Over time, kids will become more aware of the relative fairness in the world around them. Therefore, insisting on an arbitrary gaming time limit while not stopping anything yourself might seem frustrating to them.

Instead, consider creating and visibly sharing a rule where both you and your child have to stop doing something. Your child has to stop gaming for a little while, and you, perhaps, have to put your phone down. During this time, perhaps you could reconnect a little, make dinner, or do a fun activity together. Since you’re both giving something up for a time, the rule can be more equitable and approachable to a child.

While gaming can be a great source of learning and development, it’s not something that people typically want their kids to do all the time. With a little time, and the tips outlined above, you can manage your child’s relationship to gaming effectively to create a fair and productive household.

Related Reading

Learn how to keep kids safe while playing video games.

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Situations Where a Family Lawyer Can Help You With

A couple is embracing, cheek to cheek (Illustration)

Did you know that as of 2023, there are 58,087 family law, divorce lawyers and attorneys in the US? Family lawyers assist people in the midst of a complex divorce involving shared assets and children. They also help in child custody battles and securing protection from domestic violence.

According to an Orange County family law attorney, family law is a unique area of civil law that pertains to the legal issues that arise among members of the same family or household. Family law cases have the potential to influence the lives of those involved in several ways for years to come.

Here are situations that require the assistance of a family lawyer:

Divorce and Separation

When you’re going through a divorce or separation, seeking legal advice from experienced local lawyers can assist you in understanding your rights and responsibilities, as well as help you negotiate a fair settlement.  A family lawyer can help explain the legal processes involved in divorce or separation, such as asset division, spousal support, and property rights.

Divorce lawyer Charles T. Brooks III says that the divorce process can be very emotional, and each spouse will want certain things like the house, the cars, the family pet, and other assets. When there is disagreement in the way assets are split among them, the divorce process can become even more complex.

A family lawyer can act as a mediator between couples to facilitate communication and reach agreements amicably. If the divorce escalates, a family lawyer can also represent you in court.

By having a knowledgeable and experienced family lawyer by your side, you can ensure that your interests are protected and that the entire process is handled with professionalism and care.

Child Custody and Support

Child custody and support matters can be emotionally challenging, but having a skilled family lawyer on your side can provide invaluable guidance and support.

When dealing with child custody, a family lawyer can assist you in negotiating custody arrangements, creating parenting plans, and representing your interests in court if needed. They can work with you towards achieving a custody agreement that’s in the best interest of your child.

In terms of child support, a family lawyer can assist in determining the appropriate amount of support based on the parents’ income, expenses, and the child’s requirements. One of their primary roles in child support cases is to help ensure that the child’s financial needs are met.

Should there be any disputes or changes needed to an existing support agreement, finding family attorneys near you who can advocate for you will allow you to focus on what matters most—the well-being of your child.

Adoption and Surrogacy

Are you considering adoption or surrogacy? When opting for adoption, a family lawyer can assist in fulfilling the legal requirements for adoption, ensuring all necessary documents are in order. They can also help with international adoptions, making sure that you are in compliance with both local and international laws.

In cases of surrogacy, a family lawyer can help draft surrogacy agreements, outlining the rights and responsibilities of all parties involved. They can help address potential issues that may arise during the process.

They can also provide guidance on parental rights establishment after the child’s birth, safeguarding your legal relationship with the child.

Domestic Violence Protection

A family lawyer can help you obtain a protection order, also known as a restraining order, which can legally mandate the abuser to stay away from you and cease all forms of contact. This legal document provides a layer of protection and can be crucial in keeping you safe from further harm.

Understanding your rights and options when dealing with domestic violence situations allow you to make empowered and informed decisions that prioritize your well-being and that of your loved ones.

Estate Planning and Wills

Estate planning involves making decisions about how your assets should be distributed upon your passing. Consulting with a family lawyer can help you understand the benefits and process of estate planning. Your lawyer can help you draft a legally sound will.

A family lawyer can also assist you in understanding the different options available for distributing your assets, minimizing estate taxes, creating a trust, and appointing guardians for minor children if needed.

Conclusion

A family lawyer can provide valuable support and guidance for divorce, child custody, adoption, domestic violence protection, and estate planning. Whether you’re going through a difficult divorce or seeking to expand your family through adoption, a family lawyer can help you understand your rights and responsibilities, ultimately shielding you from legal complications down the road.

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How to Teach Your Teenager About Drugs

Group of Teens looking down with blue sky overhead.

Sitting and discussing drugs with your teenage boy or girl is important to educate them about their dangers. It’s important for parents to engage with teens about drug education and discuss influences that teens are exposed to, such as peer pressure, social media, and cultural norms.

While younger children need a strategy that considers their need for more freedom and exploration, older teenagers need a different strategy.

Below are four tips that can help you educate your teenager on drugs.

1. Keeping the Conversation Appropriate for their Age

Parents must treat teenagers like they are young adults. Teens are more conscious of their environment, friends, and social media when it comes to drug and alcohol use. Do not use specific verbiage to scare them, Teenagers are generally more mature and less naive. It’s important to discuss the facts about drug use and addiction.

Explain why some people decide to take drugs, such as the desire to gain friends’ approval or to relieve stress, while also explaining the possible negative outcomes. Promote the asking of questions and be ready to reply as clearly as possible, with the truth. This way, you can establish good communication with your teen and he or she might turn to you for help or advice.

Parents and son having a light hearted conversation at the table.

Suggestions for Parents:

  • Promote a free flow of communication where your teen can express himself or herself without feeling judged.
  • Explain the risks of drug use and also the causes of drug use including pressure from friends or stress.
  • Give examples and outcomes, including health, legal, and social effects, as well as possible outcomes.

Make sure that they consider you as a credible source of information.

2. Establish Rules and Explain the Rationale for the Rules Established

Teenagers require rules, but at the same time they need to be given reasons as to why these rules are set. When establishing rules on drug and alcohol use, it is important to explain thoroughly and answer all their questions. Instead of just telling them that drugs are wrong, explain to them how substances can harm their brain, hinder their learning or sports achievements, and cause future health problems.

It is also necessary to stress the social, legal and ethical implications of drug taking. For example, underage drinking may lead to legal consequences, while using drugs may affect their chances of getting into college or getting a decent job. When teens know the reason for the rules then they are more likely to obey the rules and regulations.

Suggestions for Parents:

  • Explain the family rules on drug and alcohol use and the reasons for these rules.
  • Ensure you tell your teen to follow the rules to the letter but at the same time be willing to listen to what your teen has to say about them.
  • Enumerate the positive and negative effects of violating these boundaries in the short and long run.
  • Encourage your teen to participate in the process of establishing rules and guidelines and make them feel that they are part of the process.

3. Emphasize the Direct Outcomes and Real Life Examples

Young people are not always capable of understanding the implications of their actions and how their decisions affect their future, and it is more helpful to use appropriate examples. Explain the possible consequences of drug use in aspects that concern them in the present, for instance, academic performance, sports, or other activities. Explain that if your teen does have an issue with drugs, help is available, and addiction rehab is an option. Make your teen fully aware of how substance use can affect their social life, their image in society, and even their ability to accomplish their current goals. All of these discussions of real life scenarios make the issue more real.

Describe how drug use can impact their capacity to concentrate on academic work or have the energy for sports. It can lead to declining grades, missed opportunities, and an overall drop in performance. Describe the effects of poor decision making, which may result in hazardous activities such as driving under the influence. It’s also important to highlight that help is accessible through specialized programs designed to address these challenges, providing the support needed to regain focus and make healthier choices.

By sharing real-life success stories of individuals who sought help and transformed their lives, you can inspire hope and demonstrate that recovery is possible. Encouraging young people to seek assistance early can lead to better long-term outcomes, reinforcing the idea that their future is in their hands. For instance, an executive rehab center for drug and alcohol abuse can provide tailored support for young people grappling with substance use issues. These centers often focus on a holistic approach, emphasizing not just the cessation of drug use but also the development of skills necessary for a successful and fulfilling life.

Suggestions for Parents:

  • Give examples that are relevant, for example, how drugs can ruin one’s performance in sports or in academics.
  • Explain the short term effects of drug use such as the effect on decision making that may lead to accidents or other dangerous activities.
  • Give them examples of what they would do in case of peer pressure.
  • Stress the need for the students to take care of their health in order to meet their short and long term objectives.

4. Describe what Addiction means and Stress the Importance of Responsibility

During the teenage years, children are beginning to assert their autonomy, and this is why it is important to teach them about addiction and accountability. Describe how addiction can occur and the problems that most individuals encounter when they decide to stop using substances. Stress that drug use is very dangerous and that addiction affects all aspects of life.

Explain how it is a part of growing up to take care of one’s health. Teach them to make the right choices to avoid drugs if they are being pressured by friends and be ready to have answers to questions about drugs. Remind them that they are in control of the decisions they make and these decisions will determine their future.

Suggestions for Parents:

  • Define addiction in simple terms and show how it alters a person’s behavior and decision-making.
  • Explain the part that responsibility plays in the non-use of substances and the promotion of health.
  • Tell them to seek assistance if they ever feel stressed or if they have the desire to try out drugs.
  • Help them to find ways of dealing with stress, peer pressure and other challenges without turning to substance use.

Teen daughter smiling and hugging parents.

Additional Tips and Resources

Visit websites created for teenagers and parents to find information on drug prevention and healthy living. Authority sites that have relevant information about substance abuse and addiction, as well as tips on helping to educate your teen.

Make sure your teen is involved in some after school activities, which will help him or her stay away from drugs.

If you feel that the conversation is too much for you to manage, don’t be afraid to seek the help of a counselor or therapist who deals with adolescents.

Educating your teenage children is a process that has to be repeated. It includes telling them to tell the truth, to say no, to think about the results of one’s actions, and to consider the consequences. Thus, you can be sure that your teenager will be able to make the right decisions and avoid many pitfalls that are typical for adolescence if you listen to them and give them an opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings.

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How Much Can You Expect From Child Support in California?

Daughter on mom's back standing in a wheat field.

Child support is a financial obligation that non-custodial parents must fulfill to guarantee the well-being of their children. Dealing with child support can be challenging, but with the right support, you can effectively understand your obligation and what’s expected of you as a parent.

Did you know that according to the new child support law in California, which was effective from Summer 2024, payments made toward government-owed debt were now passed through to parents who previously received cash assistance, rather than reimbursing the state general fund for the assistance services provided to the parents?

In California, the amount of child support to be paid is determined by specific guidelines and factors. Understanding how child support is calculated in California can help custodial and non-custodial parents prepare for financial responsibilities.

Let’s look into what you should expect when dealing with child support in the state of California.

Child Support Guidelines in California

In the state, child support is typically calculated using a formula that considers both parents’ incomes and the amount of time each parent spends with the child. California follows the ‘Income Shares’ model, which considers the income of both parents to determine the amount of child support owed.

The guidelines guarantee that children receive adequate financial support from both parents, regardless of custody arrangements. The guidelines also provide a standard method for calculating child support, but certain circumstances may warrant deviations from the calculated amount. Factors such as special needs of the child, educational expenses, and other relevant considerations may influence the final child support determination.

Just like in state New York, in order to get full custody of a child as a mother, the courts determine whatever is in the best interests of the child. Factors taken into account include the child’s preference, parental fitness, and any history of abuse or neglect.

California courts prefer shared custody because they think it’s best for the child to stay close to both parents. California law does not allow for parents to waive child support, even if both parents agree to it. It is not considered to be in the interest of a child for their non-custodial parent to not pay child support.

The receiving parent is the only parent who would be legally not required to pay child support. In other words, one parent must pay child support payments to the other parent.

Factors Affecting Child Support Amount

The primary factors that affect child support amounts include each parent’s income, the amount of time each parent spends with the child, any tax deductions or credits, health insurance costs, mandatory union dues, retirement contributions, and childcare expenses.

Income is a fundamental factor in determining child support. The court considers both parents’ gross incomes, including wages, salaries, bonuses, commissions, rental income, and benefits such as social security or disability payments.

The amount of time each parent spends with the child also influences child support, as the court considers the expenses incurred during the time the child is with each parent.

If one parent has primary custody, the other parent may be required to pay more in child support. Expenses like health insurance premiums and childcare costs are factored in to guarantee the child’s needs are adequately met. Understanding how these elements influence child support calculations can help you anticipate the expected amount accurately.

If you need assistance with the calculations or have specific questions about your case, consulting with a legal professional specializing in family law can provide you with further guidance.

Modifying Child Support Orders

If circumstances change significantly after the establishment of a child support order in California, you may consider modifying the existing arrangement to better suit the current situation. In California, either parent can request a modification of the child support order if there’s been a substantial change in circumstances since the order was initially established.

Examples of significant changes may include a loss of income, a change in custody arrangements, or an increase in the child’s financial needs. To modify a child support order, you’d need to file a request with the court and provide evidence supporting the reason for the modification.

The court will then review the information provided and make a decision on whether to adjust the existing child support order. Child support modifications aren’t retroactive, meaning any changes will only apply from the date the request for modification was filed.

If you believe your child support order needs to be modified because of changed circumstances, it may be beneficial to seek legal advice to handle the process effectively.

Enforcement of Child Support Orders

Enforcing child support orders in California guarantees that the financial needs of the child are met consistently.

When a parent fails to pay child support as ordered by the court, various enforcement measures can be taken to compel compliance. The California Department of Child Support Services (DCSS) has several tools at its disposal to make sure child support orders are enforced effectively.

Some common enforcement methods include wage garnishment, where child support payments are automatically deducted from the non-custodial parent’s wages. Liens can also be placed on the delinquent parent’s property or assets. Driver’s license suspension, tax refund interception, and even passport denial are potential consequences for non-payment of child support in California.

If a parent continues to evade their child support obligations, they may face more severe penalties, such as contempt of court charges, which could result in fines or even jail time. By enforcing child support orders, California prioritizes the well-being and financial stability of the child.

Conclusion

The amount you can expect from child support is determined by specific guidelines and factors such as income, custody arrangements, and expenses. You must understand how child support payments are calculated and how they can be modified if needed.

Remember, the court can enforce child support orders to ensure financial support for your child. Make sure to stay informed and seek legal advice if necessary.

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