Funny Jokes For Kids, written by Kids

Here are a few jokes for kids that were written by kids. All of these jokes are two liner jokes in question and answer format. Some of them also contain puns (a pun on words). A pun is the use of different possible meanings for a word or using words that sound alike but don’t mean the same thing.

For example, if someone tells you a pun you could respond by saying “You’re not very punny”.

Q: What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
A: He reads a bite-time story.

Q: What do dogs do when watching a DVD?
A: They press paws.

Q: Why can’t dogs drive?
A: They can’t find a barking space.

Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: It was not peeling very well.

Q: Why did the burglar rob a bakery?
A: He needed the dough.

Q: What vitamin helps you to see?
A: Vitamin C.

Q: Why did the ice cream cone take karate lessons?
A: It was tired of getting licked.

Q: How do you make fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match.

Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: He held up a pair of pants.

Q: How to hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts.

Q: Why can’t you tell a joke while you’re standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up.

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth.
A: A gummy bear.

Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.

Q: Why didn’t Cinderella make the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with.

Q: Who can shave six times a day and still have a beard.
A: A Barber.

Q: What stays in the corner but goes around the world?
A: A stamp.

Q: Where do burgers like to dance.
A: A meatball.

Q: What day to chickens hate most.
A: Fry-days

Q: What kind of shoes to frogs wear?
A: Open Toad.

Q: What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age.

Q: Why don’t ducks ever have spare change?
A: They only carry bills.

Q: Why was the math book sad.
A: It had too many problems.

Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q: Where do mummies go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea.

Q: What do rabbits do when they get married?
A: They go on a bunnymoon.

Q: What do you get when an bad rabbit sits on your hair?
A: A dad dare Day.

Q: What kind of table can you eat?
A: A vege-table,

Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.

Q: Why did the girl nibble on her calender?
A: She wanted a sundae.

Q: What do you call two banana peels?
A: A pair of slippers.

Q: What happens when you tell an egg a kids joke like this one?
A: It cracks up.

Q: What do you take before a meal?
A: A seat.

Q: What looks like half a donkey.
A: The other half of a donkey.

Q: How does a lion greet other animals in wild?
A: Please to eat you.

Q: What do you call a woman who crawls up walls?
A: Ivy.

Q: What did the tree wear to the beach party?
A: Swimming trunks.

Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling a bit green.

Q: What kind of tree can you put in your hand?
A: A palm tree.

Q: How to trees connect with the internet?
A: They log in.

Q: What kind of fruit to trees like the most?
A: Pineapples.

Q: What to elephants and trees have in common.
A: They both have trunks.

Q: What did the chef name is son?
A: Stew.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick.

Q: Where do horses live?
A: In neigh-borhoods.

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.

Q: Why did the melon jump in the lake.
A: He wanted to be a watermelon.

Q: Why did the opera singer go sailing.
A: Because she wanted to hit the high C’s.

Q: Why was the basketball game so hot?
A: Because all the fans left.

Q: What do you call a story about a broken pencil.
A: Pointless.

Q: Why was the girl sitting on her watch.
A: Because she wanted to be on time.

Q: What animal can jump higher than a house?
A: Any animal. A house can’t jump.

Q: How do you spot a modern spider?
A: He doesn’t have a web, he has a website.

Q: What are the strongest creatures in the ocean?
A: Mussels.

Q: Why are pianos hard to open?
A: The keys are inside.

Q: When do astronauts eat?
A: At launch time.

Q: Why do cowboys ride horses?
A: Because they are too heavy to carry.

Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
A: To see how long he slept.

Q: Why did the girl give her pony cough syrup?
A: It was a little horse.

Q: What did the lawyer name is daughter?
A: Sue.

Q: What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
A: CASHEW!

Q: How do you mend a broken pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What’s the only school where you have to drop out to graduate?
A: Skydiving school.

Q: In what school do you learn how to greet people?
A: Hi school.

© Please feel free to share these jokes on to friends or to a class
at school but do not re-publish online.

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