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Funny Jokes For Kids, written by Kids

funny jokes for kids

Here are a few jokes for kids that were written by kids. All of these jokes are two liner jokes in question and answer format. Some of them also contains a puns (a pun on words). A pun is the use of different possible meanings for a word or using words that sound alike but don’t mean the same thing.

For example, if someone tells you a pun you could respond by saying “You’re not very punny”.

Q: What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
A: He reads a bite-time story.

Q: What do dogs do when watching a DVD?
A: They press paws.

Q: Why can’t dogs drive?
A: They can’t find a barking space.

Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: It was not peeling very well.

Q: Why did the burglar rob a bakery?
A: He needed the dough.

Q: What vitamin helps you to see?
A: Vitamin C.

Q: Why did the ice cream cone take karate lessons?
A: It was tired of getting licked.

Q: How do you make fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match.

Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: He held up a pair of pants.

Q: How to hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts.

Q: Why can’t you tell a joke while you’re standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up.

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth.
A: A gummy bear.

Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.

Q: Why didn’t Cinderella make the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with.

Q: Who can shave six times a day and still have a beard.
A: A Barber.

Q: What stays in the corner but goes around the world?
A: A stamp.

Q: Where do burgers like to dance.
A: A meatball.

Q: What day to chickens hate most.
A: Fry-days

Q: What kind of shoes to frogs wear?
A: Open Toad.

Q: What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age.

Q: Why don’t ducks ever have spare change?
A: They only carry bills.

Q: Why was the math book sad.
A: It had too many problems.

Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q: Where do mummies go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea.

Q: What do rabbits do when they get married?
A: They go on a bunnymoon.

Q: What do you get when an bad rabbit sits on your hair?
A: A dad dare Day.

Q: What kind of table can you eat?
A: A vege-table,

Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.

Q: Why did the girl nibble on her calender?
A: She wanted a sundae.

Q: What do you call two banana peels?
A: A pair of slippers.

Q: What happens when you tell an egg a kids joke like this one?
A: It cracks up.

Q: What do you take before a meal?
A: A seat.

Q: What looks like half a donkey.
A: The other half of a donkey.

Q: How does a lion greet other animals in wild?
A: Please to eat you.

Q: What do you call a woman who crawls up walls?
A: Ivy.

Q: What did the tree wear to the beach party?
A: Swimming trunks.

Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling a bit green.

Q: What kind of tree can you put in your hand?
A: A palm tree.

Q: How to trees connect with the internet?
A: They log in.

Q: What kind of fruit to trees like the most?
A: Pineapples.

Q: What to elephants and trees have in common.
A: They both have trunks.

Q: What did the chef name is son?
A: Stew.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick.

Q: Where do horses live?
A: In neigh-borhoods.

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.

Q: Why did the melon jump in the lake.
A: He wanted to be a watermelon.

Q: Why did the opera singer go sailing.
A: Because she wanted to hit the high C’s.

Q: Why was the basketball game so hot?
A: Because all the fans left.

Q: What do you call a story about a broken pencil.
A: Pointless.

Q: Why was the girl sitting on her watch.
A: Because she wanted to be on time.

Q: What animal can jump higher than a house?
A: Any animal. A house can’t jump.

Q: How do you spot a modern spider?
A: He doesn’t have a web, he has a website.

Q: What are the strongest creatures in the ocean?
A: Mussels.

Q: Why are pianos hard to open?
A: The keys are inside.

Q: When do astronauts eat?
A: At launch time.

Q: Why do cowboys ride horses?
A: Because they are too heavy to carry.

Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
A: To see how long he slept.

Q: Why did the girl give her pony cough syrup?
A: It was a little horse.

Q: What did the lawyer name is daughter?
A: Sue.

Q: What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
A: CASHEW!

Q: How do you mend a broken pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What’s the only school where you have to drop out to graduate?
A: Skydiving school.

Q: In what school do you learn how to greet people?
A: Hi school.

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