Funny Jokes For Kids, written by Kids
Here are a few jokes for kids that were written by kids. All of these jokes are two liner jokes in question and answer format. Some of them also contains a puns (a pun on words). A pun is the use of different possible meanings for a word or using words that sound alike but don’t mean the same thing.
For example, if someone tells you a pun you could respond by saying “You’re not very punny”.
Q: What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
A: He reads a bite-time story.
Q: What do dogs do when watching a DVD?
A: They press paws.
Q: Why can’t dogs drive?
A: They can’t find a barking space.
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: It was not peeling very well.
Q: Why did the burglar rob a bakery?
A: He needed the dough.
Q: What vitamin helps you to see?
A: Vitamin C.
Q: Why did the ice cream cone take karate lessons?
A: It was tired of getting licked.
Q: How do you make fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match.
Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: He held up a pair of pants.
Q: How to hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts.
Q: Why can’t you tell a joke while you’re standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up.
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth.
A: A gummy bear.
Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.
Q: Why didn’t Cinderella make the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with.
Q: Who can shave six times a day and still have a beard.
A: A Barber.
Q: What stays in the corner but goes around the world?
A: A stamp.
Q: Where do burgers like to dance.
A: A meatball.
Q: What day to chickens hate most.
Q: What kind of shoes to frogs wear?
A: Open Toad.
Q: What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age.
Q: Why don’t ducks ever have spare change?
A: They only carry bills.
Q: Why was the math book sad.
A: It had too many problems.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q: Where do mummies go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea.
Q: What do rabbits do when they get married?
A: They go on a bunnymoon.
Q: What do you get when an bad rabbit sits on your hair?
A: A dad dare Day.
Q: What kind of table can you eat?
A: A vege-table,
Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.
Q: Why did the girl nibble on her calender?
A: She wanted a sundae.
Q: What do you call two banana peels?
A: A pair of slippers.
Q: What happens when you tell an egg a kids joke like this one?
A: It cracks up.
Q: What do you take before a meal?
A: A seat.
Q: What looks like half a donkey.
A: The other half of a donkey.
Q: How does a lion greet other animals in wild?
A: Please to eat you.
Q: What do you call a woman who crawls up walls?
Q: What did the tree wear to the beach party?
A: Swimming trunks.
Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling a bit green.
Q: What kind of tree can you put in your hand?
A: A palm tree.
Q: How to trees connect with the internet?
A: They log in.
Q: What kind of fruit to trees like the most?
Q: What to elephants and trees have in common.
A: They both have trunks.
Q: What did the chef name is son?
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick.
Q: Where do horses live?
A: In neigh-borhoods.
Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.
Q: Why did the melon jump in the lake.
A: He wanted to be a watermelon.
Q: Why did the opera singer go sailing.
A: Because she wanted to hit the high C’s.
Q: Why was the basketball game so hot?
A: Because all the fans left.
Q: What do you call a story about a broken pencil.
Q: Why was the girl sitting on her watch.
A: Because she wanted to be on time.
Q: What animal can jump higher than a house?
A: Any animal. A house can’t jump.
Q: How do you spot a modern spider?
A: He doesn’t have a web, he has a website.
Q: What are the strongest creatures in the ocean?
Q: Why are pianos hard to open?
A: The keys are inside.
Q: When do astronauts eat?
A: At launch time.
Q: Why do cowboys ride horses?
A: Because they are too heavy to carry.
Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
A: To see how long he slept.
Q: Why did the girl give her pony cough syrup?
A: It was a little horse.
Q: What did the lawyer name is daughter?
Q: What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Q: How do you mend a broken pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch.
Q: What’s the only school where you have to drop out to graduate?
A: Skydiving school.
Q: In what school do you learn how to greet people?
A: Hi school.
©These jokes may be passed on to friends or to a class at school but may not be re-published online.