Safe Search Kids - Education, Parenting, Internet Safety for All

Parents often wonder what the right age is for their child to have a cell phone, but the truth is, every child is different. It depends on the child’s maturity, ability to be responsible, and the family’s communication needs.

As you consider what works best for your family, use the following tips to help set ground rules and parental controls for phones, and to decipher the delicate balance between monitoring your child’s cell phone use and respecting their privacy.

Setting Ground Rules for Cell Phone Usage

Like driving a car for the first time, most kids are excited to get their first cell phone. And when learning to drive, kids must go through driver’s education and have limitations placed on them once they can drive on their own.

The same rings true for cell phones. As adults, we know the distractions our phones can pose. Before you give your child a phone, discuss cell phone safety and the ground rules you expect them to follow. Start small and allow more freedom with earned responsibility.

Cell phone rules and expectations can include:

• When the cell phone cannot be used, like at dinner time, during homework hours, or at bedtime.
• Never texting while walking—this can be anywhere, including parking lots, the mall, sidewalks, or even at home. This can distract your child and can be dangerous if they aren’t paying attention to their surroundings.
• Never texting while driving and following the state laws when it comes to cell phone and hands-free use in the car.
• Only downloading approved apps.
• Designating specific times to use social media apps such as Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Kik, TikTok, etc.
• Keeping personal information, such as their school name, hometown, phone number, birth date, and address, off social media.
• The understanding that the phone is the property of the parents and can be rescinded at any time for misuse.
• A clear definition of who is responsible for replacing the phone if it’s lost.

As you establish ground rules, consider creating a cell phone agreement for your child to sign, and give them a copy to keep and comply with. The contract can include the estimated cost of the cell phone, whether or not you will be monitoring and tracking the phone, and a statement that phone privileges can be discontinued at any time for misuse. Warning your child of the consequences of misusing their phone ahead of time makes it easier to take their phone away, if needed.

What type of phone to get for your child

Cell phones are expensive, and your child probably doesn’t need the newest model with all the bells and whistles. The best first phone for a child is either a used one (several generations old) or a basic phone with limited functions.

If your child proves they are responsible by taking good care of their phone and responding to your texts and calls, you can consider upgrading them to a better phone, if needed.

How to use Parental Controls on a Phone

Self-control is not necessarily a strong suit in the still-developing mind of a child, and setting parental controls on their phone can help protect them.

Parental controls can include restrictions on downloading apps, preventing explicit content, limiting cell phone usage, restricting Web searches, and only allowing certain games. Start off by restricting as much as you feel you need to and eventually allow more options with proven responsibility.

Monitoring with privacy

There’s an ongoing debate about the balance of parental monitoring and a child’s privacy, and it’s up to each parent to decide on an individual basis. Just as a parent helps their child learn to ride a bike or drive a car, they can also help their child learn how to safely use their cell phone.

Kids rarely make phone calls anymore — instead, they use messaging for most of their conversations. Looking over social media interactions, app use, and texts can offer insight into bullying, disparaging comments, signs of suicide from friends, or unsolicited sexting from friends or strangers. Does your child know how to handle these situations? Will your child tell you about it?

Keep in mind that many kids don’t use text messaging like their parents do. They prefer Snapchat or Instagram messaging, and now both social media apps make messages disappear after a certain amount of time. Staying up-to-date on what apps your child is using and how they can be used for messaging can help keep you informed about your child’s online activity.

Most cell phone carriers offer packages to help parents with monitoring, and a number of parental monitoring apps are also available with varying degrees of tracking. These apps can alert you when specific words are used in messages your child sends or receives and offer more privacy by allowing you to focus on certain messages rather than every communication.

Cell phones can be helpful for families when used correctly. Taking the time to set up ground rules can help teach your child responsibility and will offer peace of mind as you navigate the treacherous waters that can come with your child’s first phone.

Conclusion

These days, most parents take for granted that every child will get a cell phone at some point in their young life.  However, some parents don’t want their kids to carry around a phone, regardless of whether they are ready for it or not.  There may be other factors in play, such as personal beliefs and concern about a child online safety.

All parents think about how much freedom a child should have before they reach a certain age. This opens up issues of how kids will feel if they are the only ones without a cell phone.  That is yet another important discussion that needs to take place within any family. In any case, communication is always key.

About the Author

Lori Cunningham a family tech advocate and contributing writer for Xfinity Mobile. She is a mom to two creative children ages 13 and 15, and always looking to find new ways technology can help families with their scheduled lives.

Many facets of parenting have certainly changed over the years. On one hand, children are increasingly preoccupied with their smartphones and this includes having direct contact with friends at all hours. On the positive side, cellphones allow parents to keep in constant contact with their kids no matter where they are.

With great tools for learning and communication comes added responsibility for the child and parents. This includes at home and as well as cell phone use in school.  It’s important to have regular conversations in order to keep the relationship open. This builds trust on both sides. However, a parent may still feel the need to monitor their child’s computer activity. This has become standard practice for good parenting, but what about phone use?

Now it’s possible to read your child’s text messages without accessing their phone and it’s free of charge. Cocospy has one of the best free text message tracking software on the planet. To be able to track your child’s text messages you should;

Create a free account

It is good to know that before you can be able to enjoy the tracking services of this fantastic tracking app, you need to secure an account. That is because; your account will allow you back-end access to your tracking dashboard where you can view various options and set up you tracking according to your needs. When signing up you are only required to provide necessary personal information, password, and then you are good to go.

Download the app

After signing up for a cocospy, you can now download the app and access it. The reason why you will want to make sure that you download the app is that it is the only way through which you can be able to get the tracking link, and thus read text messages from another phone.

Remember that cocospy does not need you to download the app or install it on the target phone. What happens is that after you have entered the required details about the targeted phone, you are provided with a unique text tracking link to be used on the target phone.

By clicking the link, you shall have initiated the tracking process. It is therefore recommended that after installing the tracker using the link, you get rid of the text message because the user might be able to use it to access the tracker which can result in misleading information.

Get to tracking

After signing up for an account and activating your tracking, you should be able to see all the incoming and outgoing text messages. You need to know that you can regulate how often you need the message updates. However, you should understand that the higher the update rates, the more battery power your phone will consume because it means that the app will be running most of the time.

Other benefits of text message tracking

Other than tracking what your children are chatting about, text message tracking can be used for different things. However, it is imperative to ensure that before you monitor someone’s messages that you are not breaking the law. Text message tracking has been used by couples who are extra protective and would do anything to ensure that their relationship is built on trust.

Also, some employers have been using text message tracking software to monitor their employees. Remember that there is some top secret information that should never be shared with your competitor.  This tool is also valuable in protecting children against cyberbullies.

However, some employees cannot resist a little bribe; hence, it is better not to take chances or else; you may risk shutting down your business. However, tracking your employees are only allowed in countries where the law agrees.

Trust

Children text a lot compared to how much they call each other, that is why you always need to ensure that you know everyone they chat to and what they are talking about. The good thing is that these kids only text their closest friends and people you trust; hence, it is much easier to tell the kind of things that they take much interest in. It is also good to know that text messaging still exposes the young one to more serious risks like predators and cyberbullying.

However, by tracking their chats, you should be able to stop any suspicious activity at the beginning. Remember that cyberbullying, and child predators need enough time before they can become full-blown, and the results start showing.

Learn about ways to also limit your child’s cell phone usage.

The conversation around keeping your children safe has come a long way from not talking to strangers and being home before dark. Internet safety for kids has become one of the most challenging parental discussions to have. It’s turning out to be a required conversation at a very young age.

Children are interacting online at increasingly higher rates than any other age group. The world wide web presents both a network of engaging content and opportunities for copious harmful interactions. It’s vital to have a comprehensive discussion about all the inherent dangers online.

Internet safety for kids is not as simple as limiting what websites they can access. The myriad forms of communication alone are almost impossible to keep track of in real time. These include popular platforms like Google Hangouts or Discord, which work very efficiently to allow for quick steaming video chat and instant voice applications.  However, the trade off for this convenience can result in your home IP address being visible due to a WEBrtc leak. This is just one example of the dangers any child can face online.

While personal safety is paramount, it’s also vital to educate children on the impact their online presence can have. There is a plethora of examples of kids bullying or cyberstalking each other to the point of physical harm via online platforms. It’s just as essential to show the importance of being thoughtful of others online as it is to warn of other dangers.

Steps to Increase the Online Security Awareness

Children often confuse online security with unnecessary restrictions. It’s crucial to be honest with them about why security is so important. It can be difficult for the younger generation to understand such issues as stolen identities and hacking banking information. However, if you can teach them through certain behaviors and make them aware of potential danger zones, you will instill an appropriate view of online security.

Set Up Ground Rules

Limiting screen time or time on the internet has become a trendy way to handle children’s online behaviors. However, it’s getting increasingly difficult to achieve this lofty goal. School work, communication with friends, and gameplay have all been transported to the online world. Thus, it could be perceived as extremely limiting to simply say “only two hours of internet per day.”

However, some standard ground rules are reasonable and beneficial. For example, using the internet in a shared space like the dining or living room. It can help to limit inappropriate online activities. If you encourage children to share any messages or information they find offensive with you, it will help to discover bullying or cyberstalking before it becomes too impactful.

The key to the ground rules is being open and honest about why said rules exist. When using parental controls, do it openly so that it’s a positive thing based on your safety concerns, not something that will have a negative psychological effect.   Clearly explaining what is good and bad on the internet will go a lot further than dictating what is off limits.

Utilize Built-In Security Settings and Features

Most operating systems take young family members into account with certain family-friendly features. Fortunately, these features go a lot further now than restricting certain websites or content.

For example, parents can allot funds to the kid’s online account to use them in the app store. This can remove the temptation for children to spend unbeknownst to parents. Additionally, parents can limit the time spent online with timers, restrict internet content or certain apps, and block the adjustment of specific system settings.

Be Mindful About Online Gaming

Online gaming has become more social than ever. Almost every game has some form of chat component, with many utilizing actual voice chat. Encouraging children to be wary of what information they divulge online is essential. While games are virtual and can always be reset, real information can put your family in danger.

Consider utilizing a VPN while gaming. A VPN can hide the IP address from other users. An IP address could be used to locate your home, even if the child doesn’t give away your exact location.

Be the Example

Internet safety for kids has become one of the most challenging aspects of parenting in modern times. Being honest about the dangers of online interactions is crucial. This, along with supplying legitimate reasons for online restrictions can ease the tension caused by discussions about the internet. Model good internet behaviors for children by adhering to the same ground rules as you ask them to follow.

Read about the psychological impact of parental controls on children.

Coaching children on the classic dangers online like communicating with strangers, accessing inappropriate content, and opening files or documents they are not sure about is vital. Children can often see the internet as an “imaginary realm,” where online friends only exist in the online world. Parents must make it plain to children that anything that happens online can lead to physical dangers.

Rather than attempting to only chase down all the potential dangers, it is far more efficient to educate children about digital responsibility and good online behavior, so they know how to interact properly with the vast world of the internet.

Teachers have always had to fight for the attention of their students. Not long ago they would only be dealing with gossip, note passing, and the occasional trading card. The latest distraction of the mobile phone in the classroom can often be much more difficult to control.

Some teachers have even reported children watching Netflix in the middle of class. There a varying opinions on what should be done regarding the use of mobiles phones by students.

How UK Schools Approach Mobile Phones

Some countries – notably France – have strict laws against cell phone use in schools. There are no laws in the UK that prohibit children from using them. The decision on how to deal with phones is left to individual schools. It can get confusing and certainly far from consistent. Some schools do ban them outright, and then there are other schools that embrace phones as a teaching aid and encourage kids to use them as part of their schoolwork.

In Shiplake College in Henley-on-Thames for example, children that use their mobile phones between 8:15 and 5:45 are given a detention. The headmaster of the school, Gregg Davies, admits that phones can be a great tool, but he found children were being distracted and even losing their ability to communicate in person. The use of cell phones in school was therefore dropped since the policy was introduced.

Then there is Brighton College, where students are encouraged to play games like Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit during free periods, instead of using their cell phones. The move is an effort to encourage pupils to socialize with each other more without having to use mobile devices. There are also varying bans on phones where certain pupils are allowed them on certain days of the week; effectively weaning students off their phones over time.

How Phones can Help

The reality is that phones aren’t all bad and studies have shown that banning cellphones can help in education. Students say that having their phones on hand can improve their engagement, motivation, productivity, and creativity. Some teachers also believe that mobile phones can help, and there have been successful integrations into the classroom.

Mobile phones can give students all the information that they could ever need. A phone by itself can educate students and there lots of phone apps that are even encouraged by schools, particularly those that build relaxation skills and help students find resources. The potential for phones as a learning tool is practically endless.

The Law on Confiscating Mobile Phones

One thing to consider is this; who is responsible if a phone is confiscated and then gets lost or damaged? Would it be the teacher who confiscated the phone, the student who brought it to the school, or the school itself?

Legally, the school has indeed taken possession of the phone. However, in the UK, Section 94 of the Education and Inspections Act 2006 says that neither the teacher or the school is responsible for loss or damage of items confiscated as a form of punishment. It also provides no statutory liability for items that are lost in other ways.

There are a few caveats though. The disciplinary penalty has to be lawful; it has to be reasonable and proportionate to the “crime”. Schools must also clearly communicate their policy on mobile phones to students. The school can get in trouble if the pupil who has their phone confiscated was not aware this could happen. Also, teachers are expected to take reasonable care to ensure that items they confiscate are safe, such as storing them securely in the staff room. At the end of the day, unfortunately for the students – the law is ultimately on the side of the teachers and schools.

Should Schools Ban Mobile Phones?

Matt Hancock – the Culture Secretary for the UK – says that more schools need to ban mobile phones. He admires headmasters who don’t allow students to use their phones and believes social media can facilitate bullying. Personally, he doesn’t allow his children to own their own phones and use social media, but doesn’t think it is the responsibility of the government to legislate against children using phones and technology. Mr Hancock believes it is up to parents and schools to do the right thing, rather than being told to do so by the government.

Schools are all handling cell phone use in their own way. Some are for them and some are against their use. The Culture secretary himself is against them, but doesn’t plan on attempting to introduce legislation to prohibit them.

Read more about kids and cell phones, including Cell Phone Safely Tips.