Do you know what a bystander is?  It’s someone who watches an event taking place from the side lines.  They do not interact or take part in what is happening.  People talk a lot about cyberbullies and their victims. One part of this social ill that people rarely talk about is how bystanders effect the situation. Some researchers call them “cyberbystanders.”

Cyberbystanders are those who watch cyberbullying while it happens. They are the other people in chat rooms or on social media apps who can read the posts that the bully posts to the victim. Yet, they don’t do anything to help stop it.

Are you a Cyberbully Bystander?

Cyberbystanders can be middle-school kids, college students or even business associates. These people will watch the exchange and have a chance to speak up. But do they?

Many studies have been done to see exactly what happens to cyberbystanders. A university study found that only one out of ten cyberbystanders will take a stand during the exchange. The action these people take is usually limited to posting support for the victim or posting comments that the bully should back off.

Most of the time, though, cyberbystanders do nothing. The studies seem to show that cyberbystanders didn’t want to get the middle of a situation that was none of their business. They didn’t seem to make the connection that they were on a public site—making everything that happened there public.

Some of the cyberbystanders who did nothing during the bullying did take action afterwards. They sent comments to moderators or to the site’s security officers. Moderators and site security can remove offending posts and even ban bullies from the site.

Cyberbullying Prevention

Companies are taking cyberbullying more seriously these days and will often respond to comments within hours. This can help prevent further bullying, but still doesn’t make a difference to the victim of the bullying that’s already happened.

Cyberbystanders online act much like real-life bystanders. When an accident happens on the street, if there are lots of people watching, then people are less likely to help. In other words, the more witnesses there are, the fewer people will help.

That is the same online. If lots of people are watching the posts and tweets, the less likely someone will step in and defend the victim or criticize the bully. If only a couple people are reading the posts—or witness the accident—the more likely they are to step in and help. On the other hand, the more people that are following an ugly exchange online, the more brutal the bully will be. It seems that bullies like an audience.

Social scientists are still trying to understand the difference cyberbystanders make to online communication. What you can do is remember that you are probably a cyberbystander. Talk with your teachers, friends or family about what you should do when you see bullying happen online. Don’t be one of the nine out of ten who does nothing.

Protection Against Bullys

While efforts to prevent and address bullying primarily focus on awareness, education, and support, it is essential to parent may need to consider the legal steps to protect their children. Understanding the legal options available can empower parents to effectively advocate for their children’s well-being and create safer environments both at school and online.

Familiarizing yourself with anti-bullying laws and policies locally and nationally is a start. Legislation varies from region to region, but many jurisdictions have enacted laws that specifically address bullying in schools. These laws often define what constitutes bullying, outline reporting mechanisms, and establish disciplinary procedures. By becoming knowledgeable about the legal framework in their area, parents can better navigate the system and ensure that schools are held accountable for addressing bullying incidents promptly and appropriately.

In cases where school interventions prove insufficient or ineffective, parents may consider seeking legal remedies such as restraining orders or protective orders against the individuals involved in bullying. These orders can help safeguard their children from further harm by legally prohibiting the bullies from making any contact or engaging in any harmful behaviors. While obtaining such orders typically requires providing evidence of ongoing harassment or threats, they can provide an added layer of protection and peace of mind.

Bullying First Aid when you are Bullied

Are you being bullied, whether on the playground or online?  We know it hurts. Have you heard these hurtful words?

“You’re stupid, fat and ugly. In hockey that’s called a hat trick.” And the kids around the bully giggle. For a split-second you almost laugh. The insult is kind of funny. Or, it would be if it hadn’t been aimed at you. But the insult is aimed at you. And there you are, verbally slapped.

A mess of ideas run through your head. Run. Cry. Yell an insult back — but you’re flustered and the words stick in your head and mouth.

You need to be prepared to handle the situation at the moment that it happens. You need bullying first aid.

The first rule of bullying first aid is this:

IF YOU ARE ALONE OR AN UNCOMFORTABLE DISTANCE FROM A PUBLIC AREA, DO NOT LASH OUT OR BE INSULTING. SAY SOMETHING SOFT, LIKE “I’M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY,” OR “I GUESS THAT’S YOUR OPINION.” THEN LEAVE. WALK CALMLY, BUT FIRMLY. DON’T TAKE A CHANCE OF BEING INVOLVED IN A PHYSICAL ASSAULT.

That said, if you are close enough to other people or have friends around you, you have options. The best option is a strategy that is both confusing to the bully and takes away all the power of his or her insult: Be nice. Be really, really nice.

How to Respond to a Bully

1. “That’s pretty funny. Do you have any more lines?”
2. “You remind me of those comedy roasts. Have you thought of doing comedy?”
3. “I wish I could stay and hear more, but I have to go. Thanks for the laugh, though.”

Being nice is a great way to show the bully that his or her words don’t have the desired effect. A bully wants you to be scared, cry or show weakness. When you show the bully that the words don’t work on you, he or she has lost.

But you must be careful.

If you see any sign that the bully is so frustrated with your niceness that violence could happen, go back to the first rule and softly excuse yourself.

The key to performing truly effective bullying first aid is to practice.

Enlist your best friend or even a parent or sibling to play the role of the bully. Have that person really get into the role (pretending that they are the villain in a movie). Try different responses.

And most definitely practice the number one rule: IF YOU THINK YOU COULD BE IN PHYSICAL DANGER, GIVE A SOFT RESPONSE AND LEAVE.

Additional Bullying Resources:

• Learn how you you can stand up against a cyberbully, read our article on CyberBullying Guide for Kids and Teens.

• Parents and Teachers, read our article on CyberBullying Guide written for Parents.

As a parent, you want each and every birthday party you throw for your child to be as unique and memorable as the last.  Unfortunately, each year that passes by makes it more challenging to think of a different idea. Thankfully, we have 5 truly unique kids birthday party ideas for you, and these work for kids of any age!

Let’s dive in and find your next big birthday party hit. A party your kids never forget.

Have a real fire truck at your next party!

Every child, boy or girl, is fascinated by the roaring engine and blaring sirens of a big red fire truck! So, why not have one at your next event?

Yes, this is indeed possible.

Fantastic Fire Department is an example of a company that brings a kid friendly fire truck to any kid’s birthday party.

This is perfect for parents who want to make a big impression and love going all out with decorations.

Imagine your children wearing firefighter outfits complete with hats and boots as they pretend to put out fires with a giant fire hose. Complete the experience by inviting a “firefighter” with a kids party entertainer for some pretend play scenarios.

Interactive foam parties for kids!

One of the biggest struggles during summer is finding something cool and refreshing to do outdoors.

Combine that with the already difficult task of finding an entertainment option that gets everyone involved while throwing birthday party at home, and your choices become pretty limited.

Or so they seem.

A fantastic new kids birthday party idea for large summer events is foam parties for kids!

What is a foam party?

It’s like a dance party but inside a giant pile of refreshing foam!

This is possible thanks to a giant foam cannon that fills any outdoor area up to 6 feet in foam in minutes.

A definite picture-worthy moment.

Pair this with inexpensive water balloons and a customisable backdrop for a birthday and you have yourself the perfect outdoor water day.

A mini golf course … that comes to you!

Everyone loves mini golf!

Unfortunately, mini golf is such a popular birthday party choice it is tough to find a course that isn’t already filled with other families.

So – instead of going out to a course, why not bring the course to you?

At Safe Search Kids we are all about keeping creativity alive and encourage you to experiment with creating your own mini golf course at home. This can become a great family DIY project and then turn into the ultimate kids birthday party idea.

Not the DIY type? A company like Mini Golf On The Go specializes in bringing a full mini golf course to your event location.

Looking for high-quality golf equipment? Sunday Golf has it all with all their great golf bags and other golf equipment such as golf valuables pouches that you can get and worth investing for.

Sleepover TeePee parties

There is nothing more exciting to a child than when they have their first sleepover with all their friends.

A sleepover party is an inexpensive yet engaging birthday party option.

You can take this option up a notch by adding teepees to the mix!

You can purchase or build your own and let the kids decorate and organize their own teepees to match any theme they like.

From there, you can let the kids’ imagination go wild as they enjoy the party in their own little teepee hut.

Build your own escape room in your home!

Now, this birthday party idea is for the busy mom who loves to DIY and enjoys creativity.

Spend an evening planning out different puzzles and games throughout your home.

When the DIY escape room is ready, split the party guests up into different teams and see who can figure it all out first!

Have some prizes handy for the winning teams and watch as the party turns into a friendly competition that gets everyone involved.

And that is a wrap! There are a few truly unique birthday party ideas that can hold you over for the next 5 years.

Each idea is memorable, inclusive, and works great for any age, and will make you look like the rockstar parent you are!

There’s no escaping the fact that we live in a technologically enhanced age. This has had a significant effect across various facets of our society. For our children, it has become a constant presence not just in their social lives and family time, but also within their classrooms.

It’s certainly true that there are incredible benefits to this. The introduction of technology at an early stage of their development means that students are better prepared for its use in their personal lives, university, and the workplace. They are digital natives, after all, and these tools will play a key role in how they live, and their ability to contribute to society in a relevant and even innovative way.

However, it’s also important to understand that there are limits to the positive influence technology can offer. It’s not innately harmful, but there are potentially problematic areas unless digital safety measures are introduced to protect students in all areas of their learning journey.

We’re going to take a closer look at the risks of technology as an aid in K-12 education. Where can it drift from useful to problematic, and how can teachers and parents best respond?

Technological Reliance

One of the areas that concern parents and teachers a lot of the time when it comes to technology, is the potential for students to become too reliant upon it. While these tools will factor significantly in their lives, and some — like Google Workspace — straddle both educational and professional fields, they aren’t the be-all and end-all.

When addressing this, it’s important to take stock of how tech is used, rather than just declaring arbitrary limits. The internet of things (IoT), in particular, plays an increasing role in K-12 education. This ecosystem of connected objects helps teachers and students collaborate in the classroom and remotely, scan and share important documentation, and keep the curriculum organized and accessible for everyone involved.

There are also innate risks in cybersecurity and costs, but being able to get a good idea of how far-reaching the benefits are helps us to be vigilant of potential overuse. We can see what elements of day-to-day learning and administration technology are used for, and make informed decisions about how to mitigate the risk of reliance.

Striving for balance can be a positive approach

Educators and parents should work together to assess which tools are being used in the classroom, which skills they’re providing students, and which abilities may be neglected as a result.

If students primarily utilize search engines to research, are they also being provided with the skills to manually research in libraries or critically examine the credibility of their sources?

If assignments are accessed and provided via the cloud, are teachers also introducing them to be proactive about finding alternatives should the system fail?

Make it clear that these tools should support students in their endeavors rather than being the only options.

Health and Accessibility Problems

While we can consider technology a generally positive presence in schools, we also have to take into account technologies impact on students’ well being. There has long been some debate over whether incorporating technology into children’s lives can have adverse effects in this regard. While it is unlikely that the mere presence of technology in the classroom can be damaging, there are health risks that teachers, parents, and students should be aware of.

Among the most prevalent of these risks is directly related to screen use. In K-12 classes, there will be various types of screens that will be in use throughout the students’ day — laptops, television monitors, projectors, even smartphones for educational apps or during recess periods.

Staring at screens for prolonged periods may be instrumental in causing or exacerbating vision issues in developing eyes. Teachers and parents should be watchful for the early signs of eye problems — squinting, poor attention spans, and persistent headaches are all common symptoms here. Where possible, they should limit the amount of time screens are in use during learning or encourage the installation of blue light filters.

Aside from causing health issues, technology may well be problematic for students that already live with accessibility challenges. As such, schools and teachers need to consider whether the tools they are using can be operated by all students. This should include compatibility with assistive technology, but also extend to whether websites are designed for accessibility. Can they be read by screen reading software? Is there a contrast ratio of 4.5:1, which is the minimum recommended under web content accessibility guidelines (WCAG)?

Privacy and Social Issues

There is a lot of uncertainty about whether technology impacts kids’ social development, but it does open them up to developing or being subjected to detrimental behaviors. Among the most common of these is cyberbullying. This isn’t just concerning from the perspective that bullying can be undertaken anonymously and subject students to disruptive and dangerous abuse.

When there is technology in every facet of their lives, including in the classroom, the student can feel as though these attacks are relentless and inescapable. Not only do teachers and parents need to be vigilant for the signs of cyberbullying, there must also be a focus on ensuring the classroom can be a safe space away from it.

Aside from the prospect of bullying, there is the potential for students’ privacy to be impacted, too. Every time students interact with applications and websites there is the potential for their personal and behavioral data to be collected, shared, and sold. Sometimes this is undertaken legitimately by businesses, at others it may be stolen by cybercriminals. This opens them up not only to targeting by advertisers, but also potential fraudulent use of their identities. If technology is to be used in the classroom, there must also be an emphasis on teaching safe behavior, and how to protect themselves against these risks.

Conclusion

Technology is an essential tool for students from kindergarten to grade 12 as it plays such a central role in their lives. However, it is important to be fully aware of the various risks involved. Teachers and parents must work together to help students understand these, and be provided with the tools and knowledge to better mitigate the potential negative consequences.

Consent has always been a controversial topic for many reasons. Since childhood, adults have indoctrinated a certain mindset into children that anybody can hug or kiss them. Often around us, we see grandparents, uncles, or aunts being physically affectionate to a clearly uncomfortable toddler.

These situations often create a tantrum if the child refuses unwanted physical affection, no matter how well intentioned or loving.

Growing up, young adults are taught to accept affection from their spouses or partners no matter how they feel since they have a “right” on each other. Being physical is often stressful and traumatizing for people who go through that without consent.

Most of the times, being affectionate without consent can go borderline with physical/sexual abuse, and the very reason for its development is lack of awareness. Seeking consent is still a foreign concept in most societies, and it needs to desperately be normalized now more than ever.

Why it’s necessary to teach consent to kids

It is essential to teach the concept of consent to kids to practice it fully when they reach adulthood. A lot of children are unaware of their bodily autonomy, and it leads to dangerous circumstances. Taking control of your body and saying “no” when something makes you uncomfortable goes a long way into self-care and protection.

Every parent must teach their children consent in a way that is clear to them. It may take some practice and a bit of backlash from certain people, but it will be worth it in the long run. Some of the easy ways to teach consent to your children are mentioned below:

Easy ways to familiarize kids with consent:

Teaching children about consent is essential for protecting them from potential harm and ensuring their safety. Oberheiden offers expert legal support to help victims of sexual abuse in schools navigate the legal system and seek justice for their experiences. Here are some ways you can guide your children protect themselves and others around them.

1. Good Touch vs Bad Touch:

The very basic concept about consent is the topic of good and bad touch. We need to start telling children where and how people are allowed to touch them, that too when they’re okay with it.

Use visuals to make them understand it better. Always check up on your child, and ask them casually if anyone has been touching them inappropriately. Keep an eye on the people around them, even if it is your closest family or friends. Also, be open to their questions to clear any confusions.

2. Hugging or touching a friend:

Always teach them to seek permission from their friends before hugging or touching them. It will create compassion for others and care for their bodily autonomy at a very young age. And when their friends reject their permission for physical affection, teach them that it is perfectly okay to do so.

Being offended at somebody else’s bodily autonomy has been normalized so much that it is essential to teach your child the opposite as soon as possible.

3. Ask for their consent before touching:

Just like they need to seek permission from their friends before touching them, you need to follow the exact same thing with your child. Ask them before hugging, kissing, or touching them, and make sure they allow you before you proceed.

A child has just as many rights on their body as much as you do on yours. This also strengthens communication between the two, as both parties are clear about what they want.

4. Teach them to say “no”:

Ensure your child is equipped with the words “no” and “stop” at a very tender age. This will ensure that whoever touches them without their consent, family or not, they have the strength and knowledge to speak up about it and to say “no”. People will definitely be offended, but it is not worth losing your child’s bodily autonomy.

Children should definitely be taught to be verbally expressive, be it for consent, their emotions, or their troubles. It is always a good idea to express yourself without feeling any hindrance in your ability to do so. For example, speaking up when someone violates your bodily autonomy is always a good idea.

5. Create a healthy space between you and your kid:

Many parents believe that they have a right over their children, making them trespass any healthy boundary that they should have with their children. For example, it is considered inappropriate when parents knock on their child’s door before entering their room instead of just barging unannounced.

The truth is, such healthy spaces create a sense of consent and autonomy that helps them grow more robust and more independent in future. Moreover, when you create a healthy distance between you and your kids, you teach them that they have value. In this way, you teach them respect and a sense of responsibility at a very young age.

6. Do not allow anyone to force affection on your kid:

Young children may be too young and scared to say it themselves, but when you see ANYONE forcing themselves on your kid, put a stop to it immediately. Make sure your child sees and hears you standing up for them, so they know you are there for them and sees you as a protective figure.

According to Darkness to Light child sexual abuse statistics,  30% of child sexual abuse cases arise from within families, and over 90% of children who are victims of abuse know their abusers. Therefore, do not trust anyone with your children if they’re uncomfortable with them, and be very clear when it comes to consent for physical affection.

Final Thoughts:

Consent holds a critical position in relationships as well as in each individual’s life. Consent is respect for boundaries, bodily autonomy, and the courtesy to care for another person’s comfort and mental peace. When taught at a young age to kids, they understand it better and get used to it for a long time, so applying this practice into adulthood will not be a problem anymore.

All parents need to be aware of the dangers in society and need to protect their children by teaching them these ground rules of basic decency and respect for each person through respecting and maintaining consent.