Category: Bullying

Do you know what a bystander is?  It’s someone who watches an event taking place from the side lines.  They do not interact or take part in what is happening.  People talk a lot about cyberbullies and their victims. One part of this social ill that people rarely talk about is how bystanders effect the situation. Some researchers call them “cyberbystanders.”

Cyberbystanders are those who watch cyberbullying while it happens. They are the other people in chat rooms or on social media apps who can read the posts that the bully posts to the victim. Yet, they don’t do anything to help stop it.

Are you a Cyberbully Bystander?

Cyberbystanders can be middle-school kids, college students or even business associates. These people will watch the exchange and have a chance to speak up. But do they?

Many studies have been done to see exactly what happens to cyberbystanders. A university study found that only one out of ten cyberbystanders will take a stand during the exchange. The action these people take is usually limited to posting support for the victim or posting comments that the bully should back off.

Most of the time, though, cyberbystanders do nothing. The studies seem to show that cyberbystanders didn’t want to get the middle of a situation that was none of their business. They didn’t seem to make the connection that they were on a public site—making everything that happened there public.

Some of the cyberbystanders who did nothing during the bullying did take action afterwards. They sent comments to moderators or to the site’s security officers. Moderators and site security can remove offending posts and even ban bullies from the site.

Cyberbullying Prevention

Companies are taking cyberbullying more seriously these days and will often respond to comments within hours. This can help prevent further bullying, but still doesn’t make a difference to the victim of the bullying that’s already happened.

Cyberbystanders online act much like real-life bystanders. When an accident happens on the street, if there are lots of people watching, then people are less likely to help. In other words, the more witnesses there are, the fewer people will help.

That is the same online. If lots of people are watching the posts and tweets, the less likely someone will step in and defend the victim or criticize the bully. If only a couple people are reading the posts—or witness the accident—the more likely they are to step in and help. On the other hand, the more people that are following an ugly exchange online, the more brutal the bully will be. It seems that bullies like an audience.

Social scientists are still trying to understand the difference cyberbystanders make to online communication. What you can do is remember that you are probably a cyberbystander. Talk with your teachers, friends or family about what you should do when you see bullying happen online. Don’t be one of the nine out of ten who does nothing.

Protection Against Bullys

While efforts to prevent and address bullying primarily focus on awareness, education, and support, it is essential to parent may need to consider the legal steps to protect their children. Understanding the legal options available can empower parents to effectively advocate for their children’s well-being and create safer environments both at school and online.

Familiarizing yourself with anti-bullying laws and policies locally and nationally is a start. Legislation varies from region to region, but many jurisdictions have enacted laws that specifically address bullying in schools. These laws often define what constitutes bullying, outline reporting mechanisms, and establish disciplinary procedures. By becoming knowledgeable about the legal framework in their area, parents can better navigate the system and ensure that schools are held accountable for addressing bullying incidents promptly and appropriately.

In cases where school interventions prove insufficient or ineffective, parents may consider seeking legal remedies such as restraining orders or protective orders against the individuals involved in bullying. These orders can help safeguard their children from further harm by legally prohibiting the bullies from making any contact or engaging in any harmful behaviors. While obtaining such orders typically requires providing evidence of ongoing harassment or threats, they can provide an added layer of protection and peace of mind.

Bullying First Aid when you are Bullied

Are you being bullied, whether on the playground or online?  We know it hurts. Have you heard these hurtful words?

“You’re stupid, fat and ugly. In hockey that’s called a hat trick.” And the kids around the bully giggle. For a split-second you almost laugh. The insult is kind of funny. Or, it would be if it hadn’t been aimed at you. But the insult is aimed at you. And there you are, verbally slapped.

A mess of ideas run through your head. Run. Cry. Yell an insult back — but you’re flustered and the words stick in your head and mouth.

You need to be prepared to handle the situation at the moment that it happens. You need bullying first aid.

The first rule of bullying first aid is this:

IF YOU ARE ALONE OR AN UNCOMFORTABLE DISTANCE FROM A PUBLIC AREA, DO NOT LASH OUT OR BE INSULTING. SAY SOMETHING SOFT, LIKE “I’M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY,” OR “I GUESS THAT’S YOUR OPINION.” THEN LEAVE. WALK CALMLY, BUT FIRMLY. DON’T TAKE A CHANCE OF BEING INVOLVED IN A PHYSICAL ASSAULT.

That said, if you are close enough to other people or have friends around you, you have options. The best option is a strategy that is both confusing to the bully and takes away all the power of his or her insult: Be nice. Be really, really nice.

How to Respond to a Bully

1. “That’s pretty funny. Do you have any more lines?”
2. “You remind me of those comedy roasts. Have you thought of doing comedy?”
3. “I wish I could stay and hear more, but I have to go. Thanks for the laugh, though.”

Being nice is a great way to show the bully that his or her words don’t have the desired effect. A bully wants you to be scared, cry or show weakness. When you show the bully that the words don’t work on you, he or she has lost.

But you must be careful.

If you see any sign that the bully is so frustrated with your niceness that violence could happen, go back to the first rule and softly excuse yourself.

The key to performing truly effective bullying first aid is to practice.

Enlist your best friend or even a parent or sibling to play the role of the bully. Have that person really get into the role (pretending that they are the villain in a movie). Try different responses.

And most definitely practice the number one rule: IF YOU THINK YOU COULD BE IN PHYSICAL DANGER, GIVE A SOFT RESPONSE AND LEAVE.

Additional Bullying Resources:

• Learn how you you can stand up against a cyberbully, read our article on CyberBullying Guide for Kids and Teens.

• Parents and Teachers, read our article on CyberBullying Guide written for Parents.

Before the world went online, children worried about being bullied at school, on the playground, or in the park. However, today’s bullies have access to mobile phones, computers, gaming consoles, and other technology. This has led to the rise of cyberbullying, and this type of digital abuse can have far-reaching, devastating consequences.

Let’s take a closer look at it and how to prevent it from happening.

Tactics Of Cyberbullies

People who haven’t experienced cyberbullying might think it begins and ends with mean comments on the victim’s Facebook profile or nasty text messages. Those are a couple of tactics used by cyberbullies, but there are many more that can gravely affect a child’s psyche.

These are the most common ways in which bullies attack people online:

• Posting hateful, nasty comments about someone’s body, ethnicity, gender, religion, race, socio-economic background, or other characteristics online
• Posting embarrassing or hurtful comments about them online
• Posting or sending them threats of violence
• Posting comments or sending messages telling them to kill themselves
• Posting humiliating or mean photos or videos of or directed at the victim
• Creating a nasty fake profile, blog, or webpage about someone
• Creating fake profiles to gain personal information about the victim and then posting or sharing that information
• Creating fake profiles to spread false information about the victim
• Doxing victims by posting personal information such as their full name, contact details, home address, credit card number, social security, and more

As you can see from these tactics, cyberbullies use electronic devices such as mobile phones to harass, mock, or threaten people intentionally and repeatedly. Victims will agree that the effects can be as hurtful and damaging as face-to-face bullying on the playground, office environment, or anywhere else.  Bullying can even be a problem in college.

Cyberbullying – The Characteristics

Cyberbullying differs from bullying that happens in person, and the tactics that cyberbullies use have certain characteristics.

These are a few of those characteristics:

Anonymity – Cyberbullying often is anonymous. Bullies hide behind fake profiles, which makes it more challenging to put a stop to them. Not knowing who is behind the abusive behavior can also make it more terrifying for victims.

Difficult to detect – It’s easier for parents to detect physical bullying. For example, mom or dad would notice if Johnny or Bailey came home from school with a black eye or a ripped shirt. It’s far more difficult to detect that a child is receiving threats online if they don’t say anything about it to their parents.

Cyberbullying is ongoing – The persistence of this type of harassment is a major factor. Rather than being limited to school hours, bullies can use their phones or other devices to attack or harass victims at any time of the day or night.

Attacks can be permanent – If others share posts made by cyberbullies, or if online content goes undeleted, their attacks can be permanent. Some social media platforms may delete abusive content if reported, but it can be impossible to track everything shared. Once something has been posted online, it’s difficult to delete it completely.

Cyberbullying can be far-reaching – Due to the nature of the internet and social media platforms, cyberbullying has a much bigger audience than bullying that happens face-to-face. Nasty posts made about someone online can reach thousands of people around the world in a few minutes.

Cyberbullying Has Serious Effects

According to UNICEF, victims of cyberbullying often feel as though there is no escape. Whether they are at home, school, or anywhere else, they know that the bully can strike at any moment. The constant threat of attack can have serious consequences.

Cyberbullying can cause stress-related physical problems such as tension headaches, stomach aches or stomach upsets, and sleep loss. It can also have an emotional impact by making the victims feel ashamed about the things they enjoy. And it can cause mental anguish by making victims feel angry, embarrassed, stupid, or upset.

Some victims of cyberbullying have been made to feel so ashamed, embarrassed, and upset that they’ve never spoken out. Of course, the bullying did not stop. It got so bad that the victims took their own lives in some situations because they could not deal with it any longer.

Parents and children need to understand that, as terrible as cyberbullying can be, it’s not the end of the road for the victim. They can regain their peace of mind and confidence again. This takes time and possibly counseling, but recovery is possible.

Cyberbullying Prevention Tips For Young People

Arguments between people happen from time to time, and they’re normal. However, if someone is repeatedly nasty to you for no fault of your own, it’s bullying. Don’t blame yourself for it, because no one deserves to be bullied.

Save the evidence of bullying. Whether the cyberbully sends text messages, posts on Facebook, or leaves nasty comments on Instagram, save the messages, download the videos, or take screenshots of the posts. Evidence may help authorities take action if you have to proceed with a bullying lawsuit to end the harassment.

Do not retaliate. Your upset or angry response may add fuel to the fire. If bullies know they’re getting to you, they’re likely to continue. If you know the bully’s identity, don’t retaliate in vengeance because that will turn you into a bully too. Instead, save the evidence and seek help.

Tell someone you trust. Even if it seems difficult or embarrassing, telling a parent, relative, friend, or teacher what’s happening can be one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Cyberbullying Prevention Tips For Parents

Follow or befriend your child on social media. This way, you can keep an eye on what they’re doing and what others are saying in response to them.

Educate your child. Tell them about not accepting friend requests from strangers, and warn against posting personal information and compromising photos online.

Learn About Parental Control Apps that are designed to monitor and prevent cyberbullying before traditional signs become visible.

Be proactive. If you see cyberbullying taking place, report the posts – even if your child is not the victim – join the fight against cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying is one of the downsides of the digital age. Victims need all the support they can get, while bullies need to learn that good people will not accept their vile behavior.

Cyberbullying is one of the most common causes of emotional stress not only among children but also teenagers and even adults. Children that are bullied online experience stress, anxiety, and even depression. They have low self-esteem, lower grades, and may even feel physical pain.

The mental bullying definition, according to officials, is the following: it is a form of bullying which takes place via smartphones, tablets, and computers. It happens through text messages, social media accounts, forums, and video games where youngsters share information and communicate. Cyberbullying means sharing harmful and negative information about a person, including data that may cause embarrassment.

In this article, we will discuss the signs of online harassment, its consequences, as well as apps that prevent cyberbullying and other effective measures.

Signs that your child is being bullied online

Most children don’t tell their parents about being bullied, so it is important for adults to understand what signs may indicate the problem.

A child may be cyberbullied if:

• They stop using a smartphone or computer, while before they used it all the time;
• They avoid using computers where anyone else can see them;
• Every time you walk by, the screen or monitor goes black;
• They are withdrawn;
• They neglect friends and avoid other people;
• They don’t want to attend school;
• They say something like ‘I don’t have friends’ or ‘there’s a lot of stress in the class.’
• They are nervous when getting a message or email.

How this may impact a child’s psyche

You already know what cyberbullying is and what signs to look for. But what can cyberbullying cause? Is it a minor problem or a serious issue that requires our attention? Below we are going to discuss the emotions that cyberbullied children experience. And some of them are extremely dangerous.

1. Confusion

It may be overwhelming, especially if a child is bullied by several kids at the same time. A bullied kid may think that everyone knows about the situation and supports it. They think that the world is against them, and there is no one they can turn to. Very often, they think that the situation is too heavy and difficult to handle.

2. Humiliation

Cyberbullying takes place on the Internet, so if something is published online, it stays there for ages. That is why children feel exposed and can’t get rid of the feelings of being humiliated.

When the bullying takes place, messages and posts can be shared by others, and the more people know about the situation, the more difficult it is for a child to cope with the situation.

3. Strengthless

Cyberbullying victims feel powerless and unsafe. This happens because online bullying reaches them anywhere they are: at home, at school, or even in a supermarket. They are reached via a smartphone or a computer 24/7. That is why the child doesn’t have a place to hide, and it feels that the bullying will never end.

Unfortunately, rather often, online bullies are anonymous, so children may experience additional stress and fear. And they don’t know how to cope with the feeling of powerlessness.

4. Uselessness

As a rule, bullies attack the most vulnerable ones, so the victims already feel that they are not worth the love and attention. Most bullies trigger others by saying that they worth nothing and don’t have any value.

Unfortunately, these feelings may lead to disastrous consequences. For example, if a kid is called fat, they might use harsh diets and harm their health. Or try and change their appearance to look more attractive. Some children refuse to go to school or even to leave their homes because they feel useless and don’t see a point in communicating, studying, or even living.

5. Isolation

Many children and teenagers that are bullied feel excluded at schools and colleges. They often feel alone and not knowing who to turn to. At this age, friends are extremely important, and their absence leads to even more bullying and stress.

When cyberbullying happens, children are usually advised to close their social media accounts and turn off computers at least for a while. However, this leads to even more isolation because, for children, it is extremely important to communicate with their friends and stay updated on the things happening around them.  In this way, the effects of cyberbullying on social media become much more broad in the damage caused.

6. Vengefulness

In some cases, cyberbullying makes children very angry, and they start searching for a way to harm the bully in return. This emotion is one of the most harmful consequences of bullying because the child is locked in negative emotions, which can do significant harm. It’s best to forgive another person than to be angry all the time.

7. Physical illness

Psychosomatics proves that emotional state may influence your physical health. Cyberbullied children often complain of headaches and other physical symptoms. Stress can also lead to problems with the stomach, skin, and whatnot.

A common impact of cyberbullying is troubled with sleep and nutrition. Children have nightmares and insomnia. They may also skip meals or even stop eating at all. These conditions are extremely harmful and can lead to negative consequences in the long run.

That is why it is so important for parents to be attentive to their children and notice any changes in sleeping and eating habits, as well as other physicals signs of mental problems. This can especially be difficult for a single parent who has a child being cyberbullied.

8. Absence of interest

Cyberbullied children look at the world differently, and they lose meaning in the things that support them. They no longer enjoy their hobbies and spend less time with their friends and relatives. This only contributes to depression and leads to irreversible consequences.

Bullying victims are disinterested during classes; they are not motivated to get high grades and perform well. They skip school not to dace bullies or because they feel embarrassed and think that everyone in the school knows about the situation.

Stress and worries cause a lack of concentration, which results in poor grades. In the long run, this may lead to dropping out of school or even losing interest in entering college. As you see, such a ‘minor’ problem may impact a child’s future.

9. Depression

One of the most dangerous and harmful conditions that a bullied child experience is depression. They lose confidence and no longer have healthy self-esteem, which leads to stress and anxiety. They, in turn, make a child unhappy. If the episodes of cyberbullying happen on a regular basis, the above emotions lead to depression. And in most cases, it is impossible to cope with depression without side help.

It should be noticed that many children mask their depression and, on the inside, seem happy and cheerful.

10. Suicide

According to research, cyberbullying may be a cause of suicide, especially among youngsters. Children who are regularly bullied by their classmates or neighbors, or even unknown people on the internet, often lose hope and think that they can’t do anything about the situation.

They might think that the only way to change the situation is to commit suicide. As you understand, this condition is the most threatening one and requires your full attention.

Depression

Does bullying cause depression and suicidal thoughts? Now you know the answer. It is a very dangerous problem that causes stress and anxiety in thousands or even millions of children. It becomes difficult to lead a happy life, which in the long-run harms both physical and mental health.

Instead of remaining indifferent, we should seek to solve the problem of cyberbullying and become active listeners, mediators, and voices of wisdom. We should also treat our children with respect and participate in their lives so that they won’t want to bully others or would have enough stamina to resist bullies. Fortunately, parental have the power to protect our children from any type of bullying. There are consulting session options and apps which will be of great help.

How to prevent cyberbullying

As you see, cyberbullying and depression are interlinked. This may influence a child’s future and even lead to irreversible consequences. That is why it is so important to know the most effective prevention measures.

First of all, you should try apps for parental controls that monitor the social activity of your child and record the time and the medium that was used for bullying. Then you can report to the school or academic institution if the child is bullied by a classmate. It is also important to try and talk to a child about the situation. Another effective instrument is to post positive messages if you see a dialog with bullies.

However, the methods above might not help if your child is withdrawn or too sensitive. In such a case, you can try out applications that may help to reduce and even prevent cyberbullying.

Is Online Therapy for Teens a Viable Solution?

Anti-Bullying Day is a day when the world joins together to stand up against bullying in our schools, on the playground, and online on social media. It’s recognized at different times of the year depending on what country you live in. These are special days that bring awareness and focus to help stop bullying, as well as standing up for those who are currently being bullied.

Parents, teachers and kids of all ages can all work together to ensure no one is ever bullied. Kids can do their part by being a friend to those who are victims of bullying and including them in activities with their group of friends. Even the simple act of sitting with someone in the lunchroom can go a long way to help them feel like they are not alone.

The Origins of Anti-Bullying Day

The idea of Anti-Bullying Day began in Canada in 2007. It’s also called Pink Shirt Day in Canada and takes place on the last Wednesday of February. It began when people came to the defense of a boy who was bullied simply because he wore a pink shirt to school. This is why there is also another day called International Day of Pink, which is held the first week of April.

Countries such as the United States, the United Kingdom, France and New Zealand will honor “International STAND UP to Bullying Day” on February 28th or 29th. Schools may call the day by different names, but the goal is always the same; to stop bullying and help those who are currently being bullied.

The United nations declared every May 4th as International Anti-Bullying Day. Regardless of when any country commemorates this important day, it’s vital for all of us to speak out against bullying. It’s a reminder to stand along side those who are bullied – regardless of their age, race or gender.

Bullying has been around since there have been schools, or when any group of friends throughout history have gathered together to play. It only takes one person who feels the need to ‘get their kicks’ out of picking on someone in the group. The invention of the Internet has rapidly spread the problem. Bullies now have the ability reach their victims at home through social media. This is called Cyber Bullying. On the Internet, the effects of cyberbullying can cause even more hurt and damage and it can happen more quickly.

Things You Can Do to Stop Bullying

No matter where bullying takes place, on the playground or online, it’s important for kids to also stand up against it.   If you know of someone who is being bullied, tell let your parents, a teacher or school counselor. There are also other things you can personally do to help. As mentioned, sometimes helping means just being a friend to someone who doesn’t have one.

On social media you can stand up for someone by speaking out against harmful comments about another person. It may be by making simple comment in defense of someone. If you see one of your friend connections taking part in bullying, you may want to talk to them about what they are doing. Ending your social media connection with a person who is bullying you or others is also be a very healthy thing to do.

If you being bullying, the first step is to tell an adult you trust. They can guide you in what you can do to help it stop. Sometimes bullying can happen within friendships. If you have a friend who are being cruel to you, this is called a toxic friendship and a toxic relationship. Distance yourself from them. They are not a true friend who cares about you.

Don’t Be a Bully Bystander

You’ve probably heard the term used for people who are watching something happen but are not part of the action. They are called bystanders. If you were walking down the street and an old lady drops her groceries, and you do nothing to help her, you may be called a bystander in a negative way.

The same can be said for bullying. Of course, you always have to make sure you are safe when you help someone, but whether you see injustice against another person in the school yard or on social media, you have to decide. Will you be a bystander who does nothing, or someone who will step in to help? The same can be said for cyberbullying on social media.

Making a Difference on Anti-Bullying Day

So, whether your school asks teachers and students to wear pink on your own Anti-Bullying Day or not, it’s important to remember that everyone can make a difference. Remember, a large group of people saying NO to bullying is made up of individuals. If everyone said they can’t make a difference just because they are only one person, many great causes around the world would lose their power. That’s often be referred to as “The Power of One”.

Do you see someone who needs a friend?

Do know of someone who is being bullied?

Maybe you are the one who being bullied.

Talk to someone about how you can stand up for yourself in a safe way, or do something else to prevent it from happening again. Don’t be afraid to block or hide someone from view on social media. You may even decide that a particular social media platform is not for you and delete your account altogether. Talk to your parents about this if you need help.

It’s also ok to have compassion for the bully. They are human too. Why do they do what they do? Which brings us to our final comments on the subject of bullying.

A Final Word for Bullies

Are you a person who is bullying someone else? You may wonder why it makes you feel better to be hurtful to others. Perhaps you are involved in other destructive behavior. Maybe you are being bullied or hurt by an adult. Teachers and school counselors are there for you too. Talk to them.

Read about cyberbullying in fan culture and who to help stop it.